UPDATE ON: Burning it down…

UPDATE: May 8, 2018 8PM: I received an extension and all is good in blog land!  Thank you WORDPRESS   Tonight at midnight, this blog’s business plan will expire.  Not able to renew it, I am letting it go and allowing it to do what it will.  Information will likely be lost, but that is OK….

Dream. Letters. Thought and Memory.

I had a terrible dream last night. In the dream, I haven’t been home to visit my parents for four years.  In the dream, they are still living at the house on Braemar (the one we moved into in 1977, the one before they downsized in 2004).  In the dream, they are both as sick…

Until we meet again… dropping off Asterix 

Letting go In order to hold on I gradually understand How poems are made… – Alice Walker   Recall September 24, 2017: Well, I did it.   Finally.  It was time for Asterix’s cremation. I pulled my parrot out of the freezer this morning and placed his wrapped body (decorated with a drawing by my…

From the heart- a 15 day journal exercise Part 13: The Act of Dying

I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching Up with Your Life Part 2: Practice Dying Part 3: Preparing to Die Part 4: Dying from the Common…

From the heart- a 15 day journal exercise Part 12: the moment of death

I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching Up with Your Life Part 2: Practice Dying Part 3: Preparing to Die Part 4: Dying from the Common…

To live until we say good-bye. Tobey: Jan. 14, 2000-Dec. 23, 2015

December 23, 2015 3:52 PM As I write this, I await my brother to pick me up to take Tobey to the vet.  I awoke yesterday with a painful heart, knowing it was time to help Tobey let go. 6:36 PM I said goodbye to my sweet Tobey at 5:45 PM. So much love and…

Self-imposed exile- let it go, let it go.o

Curled up in my chair in self-imposed exile.  Wrapped in old knits. Loving less interaction. Loving not working on my to-do’s. Happy to be doing less. Should I worry and fret?  Feel guilty? No.  Nah. Let it go. Let it all go. So fatigued- let it go. Heavy grief dreams these days- let them go. Dreamt about…

I am SUMthing, not NOthing… morning journaling exercise #anxiety #racingthoughts

I am the SUM of all my parts. SUM evolved, SUM didn’t. I am SUMthing, not NOthing. Though I feel incapable of understanding $ and what it means and how to live freely by bringing enough in, I have at the very least come to a simpler point from which to at the very least…

Quick now, here, now, always—

Not known, because not looked for But heard, half heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything)… -TS Eliot

Attachments to the familiar- 10 years later, taking pictures off the fridge

I like the familiar.  I like a cozy visual environment.  I like clutter.  Now I am readying my place to sell and to move and it’s time to detach.  For 10.5 years I have had certain images taped to the fridge and added a few over time.  I am attached to these images.  They comfort…

Holding on or letting go… lessons from my nephew.

As I watch my nephew taking his steps towards his independence, I am struck with the battle we all struggle with between holding on and letting go. Just by watching Henrik, I find a metaphor for those battles inside myself. From the simple holding on to the pinky finger to feel safe- to letting go…

Taming the Inner Critic Part 3. Without thought. #arttherapy

Recall: Taming the Inner Critic Part 1 Taming the Inner Critic Part 2 Just sit in front of your journal and breathe.  Now start drawing (or writing) without thought.  Where does the journey take you if you release the obstacles the inner critic tries to place in your way?