So— things haven’t gone as planned. It’s not working out as I hoped. My mom’s shattered dove and pot above tell the story. When they broke, I cried. I cried yesterday— alot.
But I found myself surrounded by love and support from my kids (Anna and Julian) and together we dug deep into our exhausted resources and fixed up the apartment for today’s realtor photos.
Tomorrow our home is listed. It’s time to let it go. To zero out the debts and to start fresh.
What about this loss of heart now?
“What” is to accept the loss of heart. To accept that this is a LOSS. To allow the grief. And not go into fix-it mode.
From Dmitri Bilgere:
Time to just stop, sit, and surrender. And then dust ourselves off and see the plans we have worked so hard on unfold- but see them with new eyes.
Maybe things are going as planned. after all? Maybe this is all OK? Maybe, as my friend Laura Mack posted today on Facebook:
Maybe all that should be done is to take some time for allowing the loss of heart to be a loss.
For today: no more affirmations. No more fix-its and never-give-ups… maybe all that needs to be done is to just FEEL IT.
And to let the tears come. Then once the healing starts and the energy starts coming back:
If all you can do is crawl, start crawling. – Rumi