Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 46: June 11, 1988

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. During this journal, my daughter is 2.5, my son 0.6 and I am 26. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 45: Dec 16, 2004

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 44: June 22, 2012

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Today’s journal spans poignant time. My father, Roar Thorsen, was unwinding and had just a few months left to live. We shared a deep friendship. We were working hard on our book…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 43: January 13, 2007

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 42: January 2, 2002

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 41: April 21, 2014

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 40: August 26, 1997

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 39: July 15, 1997

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. During this journal, I was maintaining the veneer of a happy marriage, but struggling behind the scenes with events that threatened the nest.  I was accused of having “too high standards.”…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 38: February 21, 1999

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection.  See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5 June 13, 1990 Sample 6 August 23, 2019 Sample 7 December 17,…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present: Samples 22 to 37, Composition Books and To-Do Lists

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. Today’s samples are a series of composition books that served more as to-do lists. They merge work with daily life. [Deeper journals were being recorded elsewhere on large drawings and mind maps.]  See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 21: February 15, 2002

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. Today’s sample journal starts about a month and a half after J_____ and I decided we were going to divorce. He is living in Vancouver and I am on the Sunshine Coast with the kids.  See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 20: October 12, 1994

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. Several samples have left me a bit raw. This sample, however, is another lighter one … Family life seemingly puttering along in Kitsilano. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 19: November 29, 2000

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. Several samples have left me a bit raw. This sample is another lighter one… Fall/Winter on the Sunshine Coast, fully immersed in creative process. This is more an image/idea file and sketchbook than journal. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 18: June 14, 2000

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. After processing the last few samples that left me a bit raw, this sample is lighter in its contents … Summer 2000 on the Sunshine Coast, being a mom. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 17: Jan 1, 1992

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Many moments I have completely forgotten – so it is astounding (and painful) to find them in my journals. And how remarkable to find that the latest three: Samples 15, 16…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 16: Jan 5, 2012

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. It is important to note that I had extraordinary relationships with my parents. We had many adventures and they were integral in making me who I am, helping me raise my…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 15: Jan 31, 1997

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5 June 13,…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 14: April 20, 2013

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. Trying to figure it out. How can today’s journal be 7 years ago?! How can last Saturday be a week ago already? How can it be…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 13: October 22, 1993

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. Trying to figure it out. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16,…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 12: October 23, 2001

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages. There is also a lot of pain. The process is getting to me. I feel strange, dumb, self-obsessed as I…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 10: September 6, 1999

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages. There is also a lot of pain. I try not to judge my younger self – even from last week,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 9: September 1, 2004

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages. There is also a lot of pain. I try not to judge my younger self. Who I was then,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 8: Oct 23, 1995

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages, as well, and certainly in the daily life “behind the scenes.” The blood and guts of family life. See: Unnecessary…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 7: Dec 17, 1995

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages, as well, and certainly in the daily life “behind the scenes.” The blood and guts of family life. See:…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 6: August 23, 2019

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 5: June 13, 1990

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. It is as difficult as I anticipated. But I am laying aside self-judgment. It is also more joyous than I expected as I revisit being a…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 4: August 14, 2002

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Today: Journal Start Date August 14,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 3: May 16, 2000

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Today: Journal Start Date May 16, 2000 Cover Sample Page Sample…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 2: Dec 15, 1994

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See first post: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Today: Journal Start Date Dec 15 1994 Cover Sample Page Sample Drawing Sample Writing Pages…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 1: Oct 21, 1992

My Journals: I was born in 1962 and have kept some form of diary/sketchbook since age 6, but experienced a transformative relationship to my journaling in 1986 when I took Kitty Mykka‘s Creative Process class at Emily Carr College of Art and Design. She called our journals Image/Idea Files – that made sense to me. I now have a…

Covidian Dream Play

I had MANY strange dreams last night but one really strange one had me entering a suburban house in the midwest and walking upstairs and seeing my mom desperately vacuuming rugs and wall to wall carpeting. She lived there alone. She had all new decor- very Americana- none of our old stuff. Nothing recognizable at…

I can’t help but to wonder: Am I ready?

The whole world is experiencing an extraordinary, difficult and dangerous time.  I can’t help but to wonder: Am I ready to die?  A journal entry from August 2013 Is it ok to die today? Would I run into Mamma and Pappa’s arms? Would I be at torpet: my childhood summer house? Would there be flowers and yellow…

“She drank alone…” Journal entry

She walks– arms crossed, cold hands tucked into armpits, chin tucked into chest. The familiar dark ink pool spreads around her feet. She bends down this time. Curious? Her reflection- just fragmented spirals. She slips! lurching upward and backward, around. The black ink fills her mouth. Hog-tied, she lets out a fluid-filled silent scream. A…

A quick creative project on last day of 2019: The Death and Burial of Cock Robin

Rainy stay-inside sick day today. I have stayed in PJs and creative process. I spent the last few hours interpreting The Death and Burial of Cock Robin with ink, watercolour and salt. [Source: Gutenberg Press. Original text by anonymous circa 14th-17th century] Chanticleer, what want you here, So early in the morning? “Cock-a-doodle-doo,” says he, pray don’t you…

Sometimes I feel detached… journal entry, Dec 3, 2019

I had a strange dream last night.

I am in a large hospital ward/art studio atelier with large windows and high ceilings. It is a sunny day outside. The room is filled with easels, tables and students.  Outside the room, there is a stairwell in the centre of this old building and you can see down to main lobby. We are on the third…

For my aunt Siv

These two women- my great aunt Helga, and my aunt Siv, had the most compassionate impact on my life. Helga- she taught me to follow my heart- MY HEART. Mine. Siv- she taught me to stay neutral and in joy and embrace children as fully formed human beings to be celebrated, not moulded. I remember…

Dear Camille, I regret…

Dear Camille, Today is your birthday. I open my journal to share something with you. We met in dance class at university in 1983. We found our way to each through dance, through arts and crafts, through books, through pie.  And through letters. We intertwined our bodies in the studio and on stage. I regret…

I don’t bleed anymore. Finding solace in journal pages.

“These are the days of tweeting, blogging, posting, instagraming, snapchatting, you name it. Everyone seems to be doing it. Some people seem very comfortable expressing every morsel of their living and breathing and eating into the world. Not that this isn’t totally fascinating to the one sharing, but most people (including me) don’t care about…

Pausing at the well.

This morning’s journal entry reflecting on the lesson of this sabbatical. Pausing at the well. Being present to see the world more deeply. With mind-FULL-ness. (Doodles inspired by the work of María Hesse)

“All you have to do now is allow…” Sabbatical reflections.

I am on sabbatical/working remotely/dog and kitten sitting in San Francisco… life changing, soul searching, peaceful… no words suffice.  The real lesson will show itself soon. It is finally here! What you’ve longed for is finally here! Know that all you have to do  now is allow and be receptive when the opportunity presents itself….

Turn the page- visualizing fading memory

My latest favourite daily practice is to quickly sketch and then saturate the drawing with watercolour crayon and coffee.  I love the feel of the wrinkled page. How the coffee ages the image.  The way a drenched drawing has a life of its own – beyond my control. I am most in love with the…

Quick sketch: Young gull at English Bay

Why is it,” Jonathan puzzled, “that the hardest thing in the world is to convince a bird that he is free, and that he can prove it for himself if he’d spend a little time practicing? Why should that be so hard? – Richard Bach

There are times of no ideas… – Lynda Barry (but there is always process)

Daily disciplined connection with my journal maintains my creative process and even though the entries are seemingly unrelated to my writing project… … they cleanse my brain and I am more driven to write as I stay in flow…

Connecting with the journal everyday. Even if just to copy…

Psaltriparus minimus playing in a tree…

I was charmed this morning by a flock of tiny birds playing and eating bugs in the tree above my bus stop. A whole bunch of bushtits.

So what is the relationship with the blog? It begs to show more of your life in it…

Journal entry July 20, 2019  Sometimes I feel overwhelming sadness that has a type of mystery and release.  Perhaps it’s [binging] Queer Eye S4 that hits me in my most vulnerable low self-esteem spots, maybe it’s seeing Squeak lose weight and anticipating losing her… … maybe it’s the awe of knowing I am… have overcome…

I am allowed to think freely. Stream of consciousness journaling

The importance of doodling…

Spontaneous drawings may relieve psychological distress, making it easier to attend to things. We like to make sense of our lives by making up coherent stories, but sometimes there are gaps that cannot be filled, no matter how hard we try. Doodles fill these gaps, possibly by activating the brain’s “time travel machine,” allowing it to find lost puzzle…

Hi-a-tus from Facebook and Instagram to rejuvenate my creative process

“Set your boundaries and protection but at the same time, look to your own inner friction and allow it to ignite something that will have a positive outcome. This can be an exceptionally creative month especially if you focus on what is ahead instead of what is behind you. Keep your eyes on the door…

Man klarar sig i många år på ett ögonblick…

Just a few moments from this past week. I was gifted 3 very special, very moving, very private days in Stockholm. It was about family, about grieving, about celebrating, about the city. Man klarar sig i många år på ett ögonblick… – Kalle Moraeus, Sommar Pratarna, SVT24 [You can survive many years on a moment]…

There is one moment in Pippi Longstocking that nailed it for me…

As a child, I desperately searched for characters in books that aligned with my anxious outward ways and my happy reclusive interior.  Charlie Brown came close, but he was always seeking connection.  I was seeking alone time.  Like Charlie, school terrified and exhausted me.  Home, my room, my books were my calming tools.  I found…

I am not depressed today.

  May 18, 2019 Saturdays I tend to have– a type of Saturday Migraine– what I call- spiritual migraines- as the time to myself hits after sleeping in an extra hour after a full week of so much output– I can either be in euphoric creative mode, or despair/exhaustion.  Of course, I enjoy the euphoria.  I…

I keep the broken bits. They illustrate the subtext.

I keep the broken bits. I honour the cracks. They illustrate the subtext. There in I seek the true story. Subtext or undertone is any content of a creative work which is not announced explicitly by the characters or author, but is implicit or becomes something understood by the observer of the work as the…

Ut Pictura Poesis- the narrative potential of the drawing

I draw pictures. I imagine storylines. I imagine a narrative, a comic, a screenplay… There is nothing quite as on target as the prose I write in my mind when on the bus- whilst staring out the window to deal with motion sickness, taking in the landscape. But alas, those musings instantly disappear as soon…

Visual notes: Patient No. 6, Psychiatric Diagnosis, 1959

As part of my research for a current project into mental health treatment in BC 1940’s to 60’s, I came across vintage psychiatric videos recently. One particular interviewee has completely captured my heart. Psychiatric interview series. Patient no. 6 : evaluation for treatment Publisher: Los Angeles : University of California at Los Angeles, 1959. Edition/Format:…

Sunday pause. Sunday paws.

Sunday pause. ☕️📰📚 Sunday paws. 🐾 Couldn’t sleep well last night- overthinking- work, responsibilities.  But this morning I pause, knowing I’ve worked dang hard to get here.  To get to this moment.  To get to a place where I can sit at a kitchen table alone on a Sunday morning with the New York Times and…

The sparrow is mightier than the machine

This morning, at the 23 bus stop in the West End, I heard the overwhelming LOUDNESS of humanity– cars, buses, construction, garbage container being dumped into a truck, a plane overhead, motorcycles. Cutting through all that noise was the song of one little sparrow. One little sparrow with a song so much mightier and awe-inspiring…

Give yourself the opportunity to discover your own imagery

Dreams of my art being attached to some kind of imaginary romantic self-sustaining monetary outcome no longer serve me.  If my creative process is to continue to be my sacred practice, continue to develop, if my creative process is where I let go of attachment, let go of comparing myself to others, let go of…