Journal entry… “Fell into…”

June 21, 2023 6:30 PM Fell into a post-work nap (that desperate 15 min kind), then did a lagoon lap, listening to Górecki – Symphony No. 3 Final Movement twice as I visualized the choreography I have been working on. When I got home, I got a strange feeling – standing on the precipice, moving into something…

Sometimes, if I angle things just right…

Sometimes, if I angle things just right… at just the right time, I can pretend I am the only human in the park. The bird songs and gentle breeze in the trees can then seem louder than the seaplanes and distant traffic… And racing thoughts and complicated to-do lists fall away… Perhaps now and then…

I lie face up. Journal entry.

I walk east along the seawall. I look down at the ocean water. It laps gently against the rock wall. It is a hot day. I think about how long it has been since I went swimming. In the ocean, in a lake, in a pool. I imagine myself undressing, walking down the stone steps…

Being steered… this way? No, that way. Ok. Got it.

A powerful time of invites, yes’s and important no’s that steer me in the direction I know I need to go. Got a bit overwhelmed from the relief and excitement, I had to soak, think and do a therapeutic bathtub doodle to get perspective. “I heard this really great quote not too long ago that…

But lately, the snaps undo too easily…

I can come into a room and lead a group through facilitation and wear the mask of confidence  – and indeed I do feel a great real joy doing the work – but inside, inside I am crumbling. I wish I didn’t feel guilty for taking up space. At the grocery store cashier lineup, the…

Something amiss.

I am tired. So tired. But strangely energized. I am sad. So sad. But I lie here with a tearful smile of contentment. I am achy. So achy. But walk with a spring in my step. I feel something amiss, but I am fulfilled. I could burst into tears. My cat pokes my belly that’s…

Alone time in my “backyard.”

My social anxiety is at a great height these days as I navigate all-sorts in my life. So I savour alone time and nature in my “backyard.” Today’s lagoon walk sightings and sounds included: Starlings, Crows, Sparrows, Pigeons, Herons, Wrens, Squirrels, Ducks and ducklings- mallards, wood ducks, Canada geese and goslings, Raccoons, Thrush songs, Robin songs, Eagle songs, Bugs, Dragonflies- so many! Skimmers, darners, damsel flies. Red, white tail,…

What’s the question?

I wrote in my journal this morning- “At the end of the weekend – if I stay quiet – an answer will come.” But I’m not sure what the question is! What we’re really afraid of is to be in life, in step with it and not a step ahead of it, trying to control…

Imagined bird nest: part 1

Pencil crayon, watercolour, ink, coffee, cherry juice on newsprint. Next step: collage, embellish and embroider

New journal necessary today

February 10, 2021 New journal necessary today – it was a big day of BIG communication and BIG advocacy for my youth. February 11, 2021 Another big day of honest communication. I am tired, but light. February 13, 2021 Gift of a long weekend and snow. The week ended well and I had a personal…

My personal Covid Crafting Therapy

“Covid Crafting Therapy” is my ongoing personal process for relaxation, a type of journaling, a type of meditation. Every stitch a thought. It’s different from drawing, painting, writing. I’m not trying to find the style, the form, the character. I’m not trying find the perfect color, the perfect brush stroke. The perfect narrative. Crafting just… is. The…

Letters from St. Kevin

This all started because of a family Vacation Summer 1982 with my Dad, Mom, little brother. I am 20 at the time. The route: Nanaimo Campbell River Port Hardy Prince Rupert Hazelton K’san Smithers Houston Burns Lake Fort St. James Prince George Quesnel Williams Lake 108 Ranch 100 Mile House Cache Creek Kamloops Vernon Kelowna…

Entering the New Year with I Am’s and I Release’s

Recycled an old composition book I found in my paper box. Covered it with an old water-colour drawing created earlier this year when the first Covid lockdown made me eager to read Watership Down for some reason.     I RELEASE: My saudade My fears The fear that I will lose control over my project…

My first diary…

My first diary… a gift on my 6th birthday on April 13, 1968 in Grums, Sweden. I remember feeling so secretive when I sketched and wrote in the pages. On October 31, 1968, we moved to Canada. I always marked my own work. “Rotten day for the girl today. Lucky lucky girl’s day. ho ho…

Meanwhile, nature enchants.

  It is Sunday morning and I look out my kitchen window, alarmed at the silence. There are no bird songs. No pigeons cooing, no seagulls screeching, crows cawing, sparrows singing… I took a walk into the park on Friday. Looking out over the ocean into the haze, eyes, stinging, feeling heartbroken for Earth. Meanwhile,…