LIFE AS A FREELANCE CREATIVE. #rentcheque

LIFE AS A FREELANCE CREATIVE

Holy shit- let’s be honest- being a freelance creative is tough.  It’s a bare cupboard lifestyle and yet there it is- that inexplicable drive to keep creating– knowing that you somehow do not have the option to stop.

WTF is up with that?

You need to create.  It’s so fucking weird.

And you need to help others create.  You feel and you see everyday the power that art has to heal, to empower.  You want others, who haven’t experienced that, to experience that.

You are two personalities: the solitude-mongering hermit and the engaging group facilitator.  All your actions are always about the act of creating.

But why the drive?

Without art you do not die.  But without art you do not live.  

Hmmm.  Wise words from a student.

So there you are.  You:

EAT SLEEP CREATE.

EAT SLEEP CREATE.

It’s a bare cupboard lifestyle.

You take small teaching jobs and revel in the gorgeous therapeutic act of sharing the joy of creative expression.  You are good at it.  The results are wonderful.  But it’s not consistent.  Nor regular.

So you hustle and hustle.  Wake at 3 AM and churn churn churn.  Use your creative mind to come up with how to fill the cupboards.  How to pay the rent.

You may take low paying contracts well below your skill set.  Then you reach a certain age where that is no longer an option both for your stamina and mental health.  And you have bigger fish to fry.

You network and develop bigger programming and have several hopeful irons in the fire.

But you’re still in bare cupboards mode- you are used to it.  No Frills for no name products.  Dollar store for art supplies.

So you hustle and hustle.  Wake at 3 AM and churn churn churn.  Use your creative mind to come up with how to fill the cupboards.  How to pay the rent.

You apply for and– HALLELUJAH!– receive grants to implement those teaching opportunities.  You feel valued for your experience.  Woohoo!  OMG- THE MONEY IS IN, they say!  Woohoo!  The grant will help you survive for several months as you prepare to share the gorgeous therapeutic act of creative expression.  And you can take a break from 3 AM wakeups and you can focus on the project.

But wait— shit…

Not so fast.

You are all of a sudden hostage.

The grant money won’t be paid till after the program is completed.

Um… but… but… you are a bare-cupboards-freelance-creative  who does not have several months of income to be able to develop and implement the program before getting paid.  Oh shit.

So here it comes.  The sense of fear and defeat.  So you beg.  You plead.  But the answer is no.

So embarrassing.  The mind and heart ready to go back to old patterns of self-attack.

But you are you, so you hustle and hustle.  Wake at 3 AM and churn churn churn.

Use your creative mind to come up with how to fill the cupboards.

How to pay the rent.

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The panel above was created as I sat in the shit met it with love and humor.  And yes, the story on the panel is painful reality.

But…

I am not ashamed any more.  And fuck it, I am not holding back.

I am embracing that this is the path I am on…

and I’ll keep walking it for now because it is actually quite beautiful and hopeful.

And I seem to have been born for it and am maturing into it.

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Make sure to check out:

Screen shot 2015-06-24 at 6.02.19 PM

Screen shot 2015-06-24 at 6.13.37 PM

Screen shot 2015-06-24 at 6.36.34 PM

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But back to reality… it is rent cheque time-

So I am taking custom orders for embroidered portraits through my blog store.

IMG_4354 You can also check out other offerings!

YOU CAN SUPPORT MY PERSONAL CREATIVE WORK VIA PAYPAL HERE:

DONATE

Or via email transfer to britakatarina@gmail.com

Donors will be listed in acknowledgements of the graphic novel

Thank you blog readers for all your support.

Lots of love

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