Shut your eyes and see. – James Joyce
What does this quote mean to you?
What does this quote mean to me?
Stop trying.
Let it happen.
By letting it go it all gets done.
Surrender.
Give up control.
Close your eyes and draw a self-portrait- imagining your pen running along your facial lines.
Growth demands a temporary surrender of security. – Gail Sheehy
Daily Journal Workshop:
Recall Sketchbook Project: Let the Ugly Out
The Sketchbook Project 2012
Art therapy sessions (with Katarina, Miko, Alicia, Pent, Ryan, Emily, Maryellen and Sabrina) spilled onto the pages of the sketchbook.
Recall I participated in The Sketchbook Project 2011 and chose the theme And Then There Was None. You can view that sketchbook online.
The Sketchbook Project 2012
To see pages 1-8 go to LINK
To see pages 9-14 go to LINK
To see pages 15-19 go to LINK
August 27, 2011
Recall I participated in The Sketchbook Project 2011 and chose the theme And Then There Was None. You can view that sketchbook online.
I chose the theme: HOPE. Besides my own journal entries and drawings, I am including drawings by my art therapy students.
The Sketchbook Project 2012
To see pages 1-8 go to LINK
To see pages 9-14 go to LINK
[click on images for larger view]
August 25-26, 2011
That was all a man needed: hope. It was lack of hope that discouraged a man.
— Charles Bukowski (Factotum)
Recall I participated in The Sketchbook Project 2011 and chose the theme And Then There Was None. You can view that sketchbook online.
I chose the theme: HOPE. Besides my own journal entries and drawings, I am including drawings by my art therapy students.
The Sketchbook Project 2012
To see pages 1-8 go to LINK
[click on images for larger view]
Pages 9-10
August 17, 2011 (includes Alicia and Miko)
Pages 11-12
August 18 and 20 , 2011 (features Roar)
Pages 13-14
August 20, 2011
That was all a man needed: hope. It was lack of hope that discouraged a man.
— Charles Bukowski (Factotum)
Recall I participated in The Sketchbook Project 2011 and chose the theme And Then There Was None. You can view that sketchbook online.
I chose the theme: HOPE.
Recall I participated in The Sketchbook Project 2011 and chose the theme And Then There Was None. You can view my sketchbook online.
Recall I participated in THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011!
I just got the notice that my sketchbook is now online! View it here:
To join THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2012 go to:
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
I really recommend this- you order a sketchbook, it arrives, you add when you feel like, mail by the deadline and share with the world! There is a beautiful camaraderie/community to it and all levels of abilities can join. It simply is a beautiful experience! And your art tours and then resides in NY- what could be better than that?!
My theme for the 2011 tour: And Then There Was None
What has this journal taught me? It has taught me to let go of perfect pages, to let the ugly out, to be who I am in the moment, to not compare myself to others but to enjoy what they bring and how sharing is much more profitable than competing… (p. 36)
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 36-39 and cover
December 30, 2010
9 AM
New Year approaches fast now and my head swims with to-do lists and the knowledge that I have to find a way to market myself that reflects what I need to make. Never mind the concept of self-worth. I’ll put that aside for now. Waking up with no fear is an unfamiliar but desirable feeling. If I can learn how to carry that with me throughout the day in order not to get blocked or distracted, that would also be desirable. What has this journal taught me? It has taught me to let go of perfect pages, to let the ugly out, to be who I am in the moment, to not compare myself to others but to enjoy what they bring and how sharing is much more profitable than competing. It has taught me that it s OK to share these pages and accept the need to yell “look at me!” These pages have been the most public journals I have done and I wonder how the process will continue after this. Certainly the book did not turn into detailed stunning study of my favorite graphic novelists as I initially imagined. I did keep in mind the concept of “and then there was none” and the concept of grief. I did not need to address the theme of divorce/ loss of mom/ new chapters/ mourning/ fear of $ etc specifically in order to process. The pages are less obvious than that. The idea is to purge without censorship, to just do what the hand directs and accept the ugliness. Tho’ I knew I would share these pages, I did not feel the need to perform. In fact, I was surprised how little that came into play. The first page was started Oct 8/10. These last 3 pages can be a celebration of reaching the end Dec 30/2010. I will treat myself by simply ingesting Lynda Barry and regurgitating her onto these antique pages. Last day of the year tomorrow = cover + shipping.
[I’ve decided to leave the cover blank]
–
Note: the antique book pages were purchased on ETSY from DIGITAL EXPRESSIONS & ARTFUL PAPERS!
–
For links to pages 1-31 go to LINK
To see page 32 go to PAGE 32
To see pages 33-35 go to PAGES 33-35
To see all the pages together go to LET THE UGLY OUT
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 33-35
December 28, 2010
Write and read anything…
Wasting prisoner went down stealing.
He needs to get away so we allowed the watermelon to hide.
I see a chance.
And he smile and answer all calm.
Monkey. Thousand. Choice.
Invent tales.
His choices need not affect me anymore.
They were not my choices.
Trust.
Mother.
The right side.
Sometimes there is so much pain that we try to avoid…
But it doesn’t stop…
If we turn to each other and in an honest moment say, “Please help me. I’m not perfect. I need help,” then the pain can be managed.
—
Note: the antique book pages were purchased on ETSY from DIGITAL EXPRESSIONS & ARTFUL PAPERS!
—
For links to pages 1-31 go to LINK
To see page 32 go to PAGE 32
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 32
December 26, 2010
For links to pages 1-31 go to LINK
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 29-31
December 26, 2010
The therapeutic power of journaling stream of consciousness –> reduce anxiety.
Note: the antique book pages were purchased on ETSY from DIGITAL EXPRESSIONS & ARTFUL PAPERS!
For links to pages 1-28 go to LINK
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 27-28
December 21, 2010
To see pages 1-26 see LINK
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 26
December 19, 2010
To see pages 1-14 go to The Sketchbook Project Links
To see pages 15-20 go to Disintegration
To see pages 21-25 go to Graffiti
TO SEE MY FRIDA SERIES GO TO FRIDA KAHLO
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 21-25
…there is a time to kick the whole bloated sensation of ART on its whore-ass. – Bukowski
December 17-18, 2010
To see pages 1-14 go to The Sketchbook Project Links
To see pages 15-20 go to Disintegration
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
My journal pages feel ugly and messy and dismantled. But as the disintegration and Kafkaesque fragmentation occurs, both in life and on paper, the truth is revealed and it would be dishonest to pretty them up.
Pages 15-20
November 25- December 10, 2010
To see pages 1-14 go to The Sketchbook Project Links
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Incoherent stream of consciousness ramblings…
Page 13 Transcript
November 19/20, 2010
The end is not the end. It is a transition.
15:37
My regular pilgrimage to Fort Langley to connect with mom and rituals we loved doing together. Coming out by myself is good for me. That it is OK to go out on your own without the need for other company. LONELINESS is not part of ALONE TIME and I feel cozy as the hermit usually tend to be… Just ordered a large in house cappuccino and a scone at the local café. I used to get nervous sitting by myself. I recall the panic attack I had, pregnant with Anna in 1985. I left my uneaten sandwich at the Sunshine Diner and fled. It’s funny cause I never seek out friendships. They happen if they happen but I do not go out of my way to connect, it seems. Unless the friendship is somehow connected to my work/art, I’m afraid I couldn’t be bothered to maintain it or seek new ones cause I am so busy and pulled in so many directions that friendship has to equal multitasking… Ramblings of a weirdo… IKEA next.
Page 14 Transcript
November 22, 2010
Sometimes you have to stay home and cry. Let me pick up two Stephen Levine books that have helped my through unbearable times. Where does “Who Cares?” fall open to? OMG- I just wrote “Who Cares?” when the title is “Who Dies?” [Wow]. It falls open to p. 147. “We are each in a process of awakening. Becoming fully born so that we may die each moment past our fear and isolation. The illusion of separateness dies to reveal the deathlessness of our essential nature.” “A Year to Live” falls open to p. 68. “And offering me her shoulder she whispered, when a thousand people look at the moon there are a thousand moons.”
Today I take the day to recupe- to dare to take care of myself as I take care of my home. I took apart Mormor’s (my mom’s mom) old bench to reveal the old cloth and stuffing. Daring to look into the interior to face the loss of that time.
This was a grieving exercise for me today, as I battle dark feelings and instead decide to take some precious hours to think about mom. I was raised with that little bench which sat for years at our summerhouse in Värmland. It has been with me for years now and my father-in-law, Ralph, fixed the leg years ago and stripped it to its natural pine. Over the years it has kept its original cloth underneath a myriad of covering. I pulled it apart and found this amazing original stuffing which unfortunately is not keep-able. It fell apart and sadly I threw it out, as I wonder what stories lie inside all those nooks and crannies.
The original cloth is a beautiful worn floral piece that reminds me so much of my grandmother, Stina (my “mormor”).
On the back of the board which held the stuffing and the cloth is a pastel drawing that I have always been fascinated with. But who is “Gunnel”? These are those heartbreaking moments when I realize I can’t ask Mom these questions anymore…
I was going to draw mom from this amazing photo taken in 1957, but I couldn’t do it.
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
See page 9 at The Sketchbook Project page 9
See page 10 at The Sketchbook Project page 10
See pages 11/12 at The Sketchbook Project page 11/12
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 11 Transcript
October 23, 2010
10:49 AM
The trip to SF was so amazing that I think I went into mourning afterwards, I finally have a few minutes to myself that I am setting aside to rework the pages I started in SF.
Page 12 Transcript
November 3, 2010
Vancouver Art Gallery with Sara plus students.
Idea: Photo field trip to cemetery.
Look up and Our Lives and Our Children by Robert Adams.
Everyday eyes seek aesthete shapes eyes see the hazy myth.
De Style 1993
1955- Paintings
1. Garden
2.Portraits
3. Angels- Souvenir series
Vignettes
Look up Souvenir I, 1997
Souvenir IV
“We mourn our loss”
Page 12 other side
November 19, 2010
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
See page 9 at The Sketchbook Project page 9
See page 10 at The Sketchbook Project page 10
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 10 Transcript
Monday October 11, 2010
18:03
Sitting at Gate 68 @SFO. Anna left me at the security lineup. We had an amazing time. I need to believe that these anxiety moments are worth it.
Trust, trust, trust.
Does this need to cry imply fear? Grief? Loneliness?
Sighing. Thinking about one year ago.
Recall our marvelous long weekend. And know all is well and safe.
Plane is just arriving. It’s little. But I have a window seat and my new book.
18:24
October 11, 2010
About to board.
Email YWDC re: workshop idea. Plan for October 25 show. Plan for October 27 SFU w. S… and H…. Let J… P. know about button maker situation. Mail box of monkeys to L…. Mail A… L…’s monkeys to S.A. Email plus blog about Sockshop on Haight, about SFMOMA, about new idea. Make Lorax prototype. Buy foamcore. Prep schedule. Prep animation to-do’s. Email I…/M… Do bills/reconiling. J…’s r… fee + queen size bed. Make product. Revamp ETSY. New washing machine.
BOARDING.
Fear of Flying.
Boarding Anxiety.
Je suis une oiseaux.
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
See page 9 at The Sketchbook Project page 9
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 9 Transcript
Monday October 11, 2010
9:27 AM.
Plans for today:
Centre is closed so Anna will drop off sock monkey tomorrow!
Pack –> drop off stuff to Aritzia –> after Farm Table –> Container Store –> Union Square –> Borders? –> Gallery (Maiden Lane) –> Gift Shop at [SF]MOMA –> walk by the centre –> Twitter –> Muni –> Safeway –> Church –> Sanchez –> Union Made (closed) 12 noon opening –> mall –> airport
11:50
October 11, 2010
@Annabelle’s Rest. Container store was incredible! SOMA district –> Mission district
14:50
In Maiden Lane @Bistro 69 (closed to traffic Fashion Lane sponsored by Chanel)
Visit to SFMOMA was incredible. Recall: Kahlo’s wedding portrait, Paul Klee, Rothko, Calder [?], Kahlo wedding cookies.
16:56 @Peet’s Coffee @airport. Checked in. [Anna added “Sad Face” :(]
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 8 Transcript
Sunday October 10, 2010
21:22
PJ’s and Arrested Development.
Already missing Anna even tho we still have tomorrow and she is coming to Vancouver for Halloween. I need to look into anxiety tools. Redo pages with watercolor a la Lynda Barry. Woke up with a panic attack at 5:45.
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind.
– William Wordsworth
Eldon Braun
Are you him?
–
Vintage photographs purchased during my trip with Anna to the amazing store: Mystery Mister 1506 Haight Street, San Francisco.
Here is the doll I REALLY wanted to buy but didn’t. REGRET!
I bought a bundle of old photos that I find exceptionally inspiring.
The photo in this Sketchbook Project entry had some writing in pencil in the back, indicating that the man is “Eldon Braun, son of Eldon Braun, Sr.”
When I searched “Eldon Braun, San Francisco” online, I came across the following obit:
Eldon [Braun] was born on May 28, 1943 and passed away on Friday, February 19, 2010. Eldon was last known to be living in San Francisco, California. (source)
There are discussions online about Eldon Braun arrested for false passport at San Francisco airport (source) and ‘Detecting Criminal Minds: At deaths of active Sociopaths (e.g. Dave Bird, Eldon Braun), other Sociopaths come forward to praise these’ (source) and Eldon was one of my favorite critics of scientology, someone I loved and admired. He was a good man and I will truely miss him. (source) FASCINATING!
BE SURE TO VISIT MYSTERY MISTER’s ETSY STORE!
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
Photo source
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 7 Transcript
Sunday October 10, 2010
9:17 Golden Gate
Early Risers.
Early Breakfast.
Early Start.
It’s bizarre for me just to relax into it. Instead of racing the mind to guilt and self-critique, breathe into the moment, not letting the default setting on anxiety cloud the mind and my potential for success. Don’t gauge everything by the future fear of money issues. How is that helpful?
Dare to self: BE COCKY AND SELF-ASSURED.
13:45
On the ferry to Sausalito! Had latté at Farm Table –> Union Square –> walked over Nob Hill to Fisherman’s Wharf –> lunch at Ferry Building –> 1:25 PM Ferry –> long walk in Sausalito –> beautiful lunch/dinner at Poggio at Casamondria Hotel/Spa
18:34
On the ferry back! Theme of the day: walking, good coffee, good food, crowds
Friday November 12, 2010
Will I open my eyes to it or do I already have them open? Do I see better by looking into the darkness? If I remain silent, will it not be true? Is she here? I need to say yes.
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 6 Transcript
Saturday October 9, 2010
[Anna writes:]
Bia’s on Haight and Belvedere
We ordered 2- Coronas 2-waters 1 Mozzarella Salad
My fave! Love! Munchkin Kat!!!
<– Some of our salad
[I write:]
16:25 October 9/10
–> Off to Sockshop!
To Haight Ashbury for lots of shopping (recall shopping @ Hayes Village as well!) –> bus home –> Anna made dinner after we skyped with Julian. Now we are watching A Single Man.
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR
Theme: And Then There Was None
Page 5 Transcript
Saturday October 9, 2010
Plan for today: Leave 11 AM
Hayes Valley –> 12:40 Castro “Lime” Lunch at 1 PM –> Castro Street –> 3 PM bus Mosaic to Haight Ashbury –> shop –> 6 PM –> Filmore Str (Haight & Cole Street Bus 71 to Filmore St –> 22 Filmore?)
13:07 October 9, 2010
@ Stacks Comfortable Food 501 Hayes Street
Recall amazing phone call with Julian this morning! Another new chapter! 🙂
Vintage shopping @ Verunica
Anna notices that Tenderloin pigeons have one leg!
Anna’s new blogs
RawFabFash Just pictures
I Need a Social Life– one sentence blog about People, Places, Things.
Monkey Drawing inspired by Lynda Barry‘s new book: Picture This (Drawn and Quarterly)
See page 1 at The Sketchbook Project page 1
See page 2 at The Sketchbook Project page 2
See page 3 at The Sketchbook Project page 3
See page 4 at The Sketchbook Project page 4
See page 5 at The Sketchbook Project page 5
See page 6 at The Sketchbook Project page 6
See page 7 at The Sketchbook Project page 7
See page 8 at The Sketchbook Project page 8
My colleague, Sara, and I took 13 students to the Vancouver Art Gallery for an all-day field trip on November 3, 2010. It was an incredible time, all of us happily soaking up art (once we got the guided tour out of the way)!
Highlights for me:
The exhibition includes more than 300 photographs representing each of Adams’ major projects…
The delicate small B&W photos from Sweden made me overwhelmed with sentimentality.
A 1968 trip to Sweden with his wife and lifelong helpmate, Kerstin, suggested to Adams the possibility of a socially and environmentally responsible approach to the built environment. (source)
I adored this exhibit. The organization, the memories, the beauty of everyday objects, the maternal, the grieving…
The installation comprises the frame of his mother’s house along with all of the everyday objects she meticulously collected over the course of her lifetime: a collection of over ten thousand worn and broken objects, each one with unlimited potential value. Together, the assembled materials—clothes, books, kitchen utensils, toiletries, school supplies, shopping bags, rice bowls, dolls—were used, recycled, and saved. Meticulously arranged in careful groupings throughout the exhibition space, the objects form a miniature cityscape that viewers can navigate around and through.
TEACHER’S GUIDE: Everything Everyday
This exhibition strategically pairs the work of Emily Carr with key contemporary BC artists–Douglas Coupland, Evan Lee, Liz Magor and Marianne Nicolson-to draw out a dialogue between Carr’s legacy and the myriad ways in which artists respond to it.
TEACHER’S GUIDE: In Dialogue Carr Coupland
This was the highlight of the day for me. Not just because Sara did such an amazing job of explaining the exhibit, but because of the way the students responded to the show and what the paintings made me feel.
Marshall’s paintings depict primarily African-American figures, using formally diverse art historical methods that speak to the visibility and invisibility of “blackness” in the history of western art. The exhibition presents approximately 20 paintings exemplary of Marshall’s practice. For Marshall, social responsibility means creating artworks that both celebrate and unravel the black experience in America.
TO SEE MY SKETCHBOOK PROJECT GO TO: LINK
TEACHER’s GUIDE: Kerry James Marshall Guide
