Theme: And Then There Was None
Pages 36-39 and cover
December 30, 2010
New Year approaches fast now and my head swims with to-do lists and the knowledge that I have to find a way to market myself that reflects what I need to make. Never mind the concept of self-worth. I’ll put that aside for now. Waking up with no fear is an unfamiliar but desirable feeling. If I can learn how to carry that with me throughout the day in order not to get blocked or distracted, that would also be desirable. What has this journal taught me? It has taught me to let go of perfect pages, to let the ugly out, to be who I am in the moment, to not compare myself to others but to enjoy what they bring and how sharing is much more profitable than competing. It has taught me that it s OK to share these pages and accept the need to yell “look at me!” These pages have been the most public journals I have done and I wonder how the process will continue after this. Certainly the book did not turn into detailed stunning study of my favorite graphic novelists as I initially imagined. I did keep in mind the concept of “and then there was none” and the concept of grief. I did not need to address the theme of divorce/ loss of mom/ new chapters/ mourning/ fear of $ etc specifically in order to process. The pages are less obvious than that. The idea is to purge without censorship, to just do what the hand directs and accept the ugliness. Tho’ I knew I would share these pages, I did not feel the need to perform. In fact, I was surprised how little that came into play. The first page was started Oct 8/10. These last 3 pages can be a celebration of reaching the end Dec 30/2010. I will treat myself by simply ingesting Lynda Barry and regurgitating her onto these antique pages. Last day of the year tomorrow = cover + shipping.
[I’ve decided to leave the cover blank]
Note: the antique book pages were purchased on ETSY from DIGITAL EXPRESSIONS & ARTFUL PAPERS!
For links to pages 1-31 go to LINK
To see page 32 go to PAGE 32
To see pages 33-35 go to PAGES 33-35
To see all the pages together go to LET THE UGLY OUT