Snippets from my 1977 Diary, Final part October-December (age 15)

Grade 10

My Diary, 1977  SÖDERTÄLJE– translated from Swedish, word for word, unabridged, sic, ad nauseum

Recall first post: My Diary 1977

For January 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary, Part 1, January

For February 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary, Part 2 February

For March 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 3, March

For April 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 4, April- The Audition

For May 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 5 May- Paris

For June 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 6 June- Graduation

For July 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 7 July- Summer

For August 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 8 August- Maud, Moving

For September 1977 go to: Snippets from my 1977 Diary Part 9 September- Canada

Part of note from Maud:

… I think your student photo is really cute.  You don’t have a big nose!!!  Maybe it just looks like that in certain angles?  Be happy for that.  Nothing helps me, no matter what angle I sit.  I am glad the operation went well!  Lucky, lucky, lucky…. Tumor.  Yuck, yuck, yuck.  Please don’t… ah… please don’t get another tumor because then I will lose my spirit.  I have been so worried!

October 2

Oh, oh, oh.  I have had so much to do.  I haven’t had any time to write in you.  Now I have some time, so I will try to catch up.  Sorry.  So much has happened.  Yes, it feels like we never spent 2 years in Sweden.  I have a million letters to write, lots of homework, friends, I dance a lot.  I almost don’t have time to walk poor Milton.  I have found a wonderful path behind our house to walk him on.  What luck!

We live at 516 East Braemar in North Vancouver.  The house is wonderful.  Not finished yet (Anders room and the garden).  Everyone has his or her own room, TV room, basement, living room, big kitchen, balcony, double carport, 3 bathrooms (with baths!), dishwasher, washer/dryer, cablevision.  Carpeting wall to wall.  The house is brown.  I love it!

I told you I wrote Peo.  I apologized to him for all sorts of things, like being shy and boring.  I told him a lot and asked him how the USA trip was.  All of a sudden I got a letter addressed to ME from PEO.  He was so nice, and told me my letter was not at all boring and that he was also shy and he longs to get back to the USA and to visit Canada.  He wants to visit and he ended the letter with “write soon.”  I have written back.  I am so happy.  I love you, Peo!

Oh, Star Wars.  I LOVE that film.  I have seen it twice now and it is just as exciting.  I also watched a program on how they make the film.  Wonderful!  I would love to work in that field when I grow up.

About Anna Wyman’s:  I was going to start at Vancouver Ballet School but it was too far to get there.  Margareta suggested we look at Anna Wyman Dance Theatre and Studio of Dance Arts in West Vancouver.  We called and I got a test lesson.  They placed me in the Intermediate-Advanced level.  My schedule: 9 hours a week

Monday 8-9:30 Ballet

Wednesday 6:30-7:30 Pointe

Wednesday 7:30-9:00 Jazz

Thursday 5-6:30 Modern

Thursday 6:30-8 Ballet

Saturday 9-11 AM Ballet

I have four different teachers.

Jazz and Modern are really fun.  Different and relaxed.  Everyone here is very talented and very flexible.  I had a hard time at the beginning but I am catching up.

The Ceccheti technique is similar but faster.

High school is fun.  Everyone knows everyone and they are not as serious as Swedes and not as fast paced.  I have done almost all the academics already except for Socials Studies and English.  My locker number is 7.  My combination is 51-14-59.  Had a rough time at the start but it is going much better.  (I have to take Milton out for a walk.  Will write more later).

Extra note from Maud in her letter:

Secret letter:  Extra note.  It’s too bad Catharina didn’t take you seriously.  But I hope you get Steven’s address.  Of course I want you and I to tell each other everything.  We can write these secret notes every time.  Or what do you think?  I agree with everything you wrote.  About love and such.  One is so influenced by TV, magazines etc. just like you write.  You know about that stuff that I wrote about… hmm… it is so hard to make contact with the one you like.  Have you ever thought about how easy it is to say to someone: I hate you!  But one doesn’t dare say… I love you.  If you have any suggestions, please let me know.  Now I don’t know what else to write.

Maud

December 16

The end of my diary is near and I was supposed to write every day.  But didn’t have time.  Christmas is soon here and school and ballet take up most of my schedule.

Kathy and I are “boy crazy.”  It’s quite terrible.  One takes it too much to heart.  I really wish something would happen.  That some guy would approach me and ask me to be his friend.  I don’t want to be considered a square.  Please, let something happen.  Sometimes it borders on silly.  It’s taking over.  One thinks about it all the time- LOVE.  Oh, dear.

Peo and I never talked to each other when we saw each other in person in Sweden this past year.  Oh, I regret it so.  I wrote to him and told him everything.  I wrote him from the hospital after they shaved my hair before the operation.  I was crying and it felt good to write to him.  To my surprise he has written back.  He is for real.  He is the boy I have always wanted.  I can “speak” to him.  He is funny.  We send each other pictures and he sent me a great one from when he was younger.  I have it on my mirror.  He really wants to come to here this summer.  If he does, I think a little flower might blossom.  Please let it.  I just want someone to care for.  But why does it have to be a boyfriend?  It’s strange.  It’s like you need to prove something.  That you are not boring and unlovable.  But Peo and I are friends.  Maybe a little more?

December 24

Christmas Eve.  My presents:

–       Stereo

–       Tennis socks

–       Scarf

–       Suede mittens

–       Curling iron

–       Soapstone

–       Canvas

–       Brushes

–       A large tube of white oil paint

–       Holly Hobbie stationary

–       “Charlie” makeup, talcum powder and perfume

–       “Kissing Potion” lip-gloss

–       Stuffed animal dog

–       Fozzie Bear stuffed animal

–       Ludwig book

–       Holly Hobbie calendar

–       Copper watering can

–       Watch

–       Aries mug

–       Ballet poster

–       Ballerina novel part 1 and 2

–       Golden pig

–       Gnome doll

–       Napkin ring

December 26

Yesterday we were at the Ericson’s and the Burchardt’s were there.  Three boys about my age.  There was Johan- who was actually quite funny.  It started with him sitting beside me at the dinner table.  Since the seats weren’t prearranged, I was quite happy!  What luck!  We didn’t say anything to each other but I felt something inside me.  He is in Grade 11.

Johan drove Anders home to Rick’s place and when he came back, he sat down beside me to watch TV.  Wow!  Karin teased me about that, but I didn’t mind.

Magnus, Fredrik Burchardt, Peter and Johan played ping-pong and Johan had never played before.  He always sent a glance my way through his cute long bangs and smiled with his small eyes. [Eeew]  I got all warm inside.  Then he sat by the fireplace and talked to my Fredrik about movies.  Fredrik asked Jonas if he had seen “It’s Alive.”  And I said I had seen it.  He turned to me and we started talking about the film.

I played ping-pong with Karin and he came up to me and said, “Hey, I’ll be on your team.”  Wow!  (Again)  We played for a while and then we all went to Karin’s room.  Poor Karin.  Fredrik B. took down all her gymnastics medals and put them on my Fredrik.  Johan was in the middle of all the chaos talking etc.  I was reading Archie and he tried to grab it from me, so I threw it behind the bed.  But he grabbed my arm and tried to get the comic before I had a chance to throw it.  It felt so strange when our hands met.  Just like in the movies.  When we were heading home, he stared at me as I put on my boots.

Before that my Fredrik and Johan had a Swedish swearword duel.  He went to his car to head home.  When I passed by the car to go to ours, I said to him in Swedish “damn kid” (sorry, it is terrible to swear).  He didn’t know the Swedish word or he had forgotten to use it in his duel, so he laughed.  Then that was the end, as we went home.  His phone number is 926—–.  So?!  I mean, why do I feel this way?  I hope he likes me.  He drank what seemed like 10 beers at the dinner but he was nice anyway.

END OF ENTRIES

Photo by Fredrik Thorsen, 2005

This post dedicated to my brothers.  Sometimes you have to look back in order to move forward.  Love you.

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