Rejection letter from publisher? Despair? No- liberation.

I have been awaiting word from a significant publisher who has been considering my passion project- Molly, a true crime analysis.

The book is not finished. I am re-writing the manuscript, and still drawing- but thanks to my agent, Peter Breeze, we have been creating a buzz and were quite elated to be contacted earlier this year by this one particular publisher. Of course, let’s be honest- the dream [the goal, the plan!] is to get an advance.

Writing a book is a strange job. “Here you go,” a publisher says at the outset, handing you a salary of sorts, and a deadline, “We’ll see you in two years.” – Patricia Pearson

Yesterday I received their response via Peter:

Dear Peter,

My apologies that it’s taken me several more weeks to get back to you about this project since you provided me with the exciting new info from Katarina. We’ve had so many people out on vacation in July and August that our editorial group meeting was cancelled several weeks in a row.

I finally got a chance to give my group a full second pitch of the project (after my first one in early May). Everyone still adored Katarina’s artwork and people were still intrigued by the story. While I do think that the new info helped my pitch, ultimately my group decided that the project just isn’t right for our list. Katarina’s project is fascinating, but the feedback I got was that even though it investigates a mystery, Katarina has essentially solved the case [well- that remains to be seen] and answered the one question that needs to be answered. Though everyone loved the journey Katarina takes the reader through, they felt that the book would have a tough time making a splash in the hyper-competitive true crime market. We discussed positioning it in a number of different ways, and even as more of an art book rather than a true crime book, but I’m sorry to say that I did not get the green light to move forward with it.

I am still passionate about Katarina’s project and was hoping that with the gap in time between my first pitch of the project and my second pitch, I could adequately reposition it with my group so they’d be on board. So I’m very disappointed to have to pass on the project. I really appreciate how patient you’ve been with me (especially during the spring of craziness), and how much Katarina has put into this work. I have no doubt that you’ll place this book with another publisher who can really get behind it and give it the love it deserves. I hope to see this on shelves one day and to buy myself a copy.

Thanks again for the opportunity to dive into this amazing world.

All the best,

But am I upset? Hell no! AND I AM NOT JUST WRITING THAT TO BE POSITIVE! SERIOUSLY! I MEAN SERIOUSLY!

I mean- WOW- LET’S LOOK AT THIS A LITTLE CLOSER— the work has been considered! BY A SIGNIFICANT PUBLISHER. It takes balls to put yourself out there and- tooting my own horn here- I’ve been putting myself out there for years. Rejection after rejection, failure after failure- and now at my age– I see that the process is GLORIOUS. Because it’s not about being accepted- it’s about the process.

I am feeling FREE again to take Molly in new directions. Work on its possibilities. Fold myself into the story more. I still have investigation to do and am building an extraordinary network of women who support the project and care deeply about the case. So many of you ask, how long till it is done? I don’t know! It is not for me to answer. Only Molly knows.

Why now—after so many years? “What could I tell them?” he said. “Just that I’m the slowest damn, most tiresomely methodical dot-the-‘i’s-and-cross-the-‘t’s investigator they’ll ever meet.” – Andy Rosenzweig, The New Yorker

And so the investigation continues. The work continues. The process still unfolds and therein lies the success, the bliss— the point.