Journal entry December 26, 2015
The surprise Christmas release by LCD Soundsystem epitomizes my achy-boned, sentimental, full of love and nostalgia, time to transition Christmas.
I both celebrate and honor and am in awe that this was the first Christmas without both my kids in the same room or even the same town.
I want to acknowledge that. I refuse to go through life without being profoundly moved by these small miracles of life chapters and development.
I woke up Christmas morning with just my parrot in the house.
And I loved it. Because it’s graduation/celebration time. My daughter in the city she loves. My son with the love of his life in a snowy wonderland.
And also this TRULY is the first time I feel like I am processing fully my parents in order to celebrate and feel liberated by the life they worked so hard to give me.
I thought my achy body was flu or grief for my dog. But perhaps it is a type of birth. In the hot tub, nose just above the water.
I have loved this Christmas.
Been deeply saddened by it. Grown into it. Worn down by it. Grown with it.
The song is on repeat and I cry, grieve, dance, sing, draw to it and I love it.