Journal exercise:

1. Identify something that is blocking you from living fully and loving yourself.  

I chose my goddamn fucking ugly mug.

2. Write for several minutes on the subject or whatever comes to mind.  Just let it unfold.

“What is really perseverating in my mind is my ugly face.  I keep saying it over and over in my mind mind mind- you are ugly, you are ugly.  Being on camera really through threw me for a loop.  I even developed debilitating neuralgia and canker sores similar to way back in 1977 when I would be plagued with pain, obsessing with hating my face.  [How is it possible that I am back to age 15 staring into the mirror like some kind of narcissistic anxious troll, spitting at my own image?].  If I am to survive this next phase, and dare to step fully into me being me, I must learn to love my ugliness.  Ugly is the new beauty.  I am blessed to be able to speak, hear, taste out of this ugly beautiful face.”

3. Pull out words that pop out for you. Don’t overthink it.

CONSCIOUSNESS

PERSEVERATING

FACE

MIND

UGLY

THROUGH

LOOP

SORES

PAIN

OBSESSING

SURVIVE

STEP

BEING

UGLY

NEW

BLESSED

FACE

4. Find a message in those words that address your barrier in a positive way.

The perseverating loop pains the mind with obsessing sores. To survive step through the ugly to a new and blessed consciousness.

5. Breathe it out.  Let it go.  Be grateful for this moment.  Remember to meet it with humor. Give yourself a gift.

I see the love in her eyes. If she loves my face- a face I am so grateful for quite honestly- then surely I can love my face. One day.

Small steps.