Journal entry July 20, 2019 Sometimes I feel overwhelming sadness that has a type of mystery and release. Perhaps it’s [binging] Queer Eye S4 that hits me in my most vulnerable low self-esteem spots, maybe it’s seeing Squeak lose weight and anticipating losing her… … maybe it’s the awe of knowing I am… have overcome…
Category: Journal
Journal/Image Idea File of the month from private collection.
The importance of doodling…
Spontaneous drawings may relieve psychological distress, making it easier to attend to things. We like to make sense of our lives by making up coherent stories, but sometimes there are gaps that cannot be filled, no matter how hard we try. Doodles fill these gaps, possibly by activating the brain’s “time travel machine,” allowing it to find lost puzzle…
Hi-a-tus from Facebook and Instagram to rejuvenate my creative process
“Set your boundaries and protection but at the same time, look to your own inner friction and allow it to ignite something that will have a positive outcome. This can be an exceptionally creative month especially if you focus on what is ahead instead of what is behind you. Keep your eyes on the door…
Man klarar sig i många år på ett ögonblick…
Just a few moments from this past week. I was gifted 3 very special, very moving, very private days in Stockholm. It was about family, about grieving, about celebrating, about the city. Man klarar sig i många år på ett ögonblick… – Kalle Moraeus, Sommar Pratarna, SVT24 [You can survive many years on a moment]…
There is one moment in Pippi Longstocking that nailed it for me…
As a child, I desperately searched for characters in books that aligned with my anxious outward ways and my happy reclusive interior. Charlie Brown came close, but he was always seeking connection. I was seeking alone time. Like Charlie, school terrified and exhausted me. Home, my room, my books were my calming tools. I found…
I am not depressed today.
May 18, 2019 Saturdays I tend to have– a type of Saturday Migraine– what I call- spiritual migraines- as the time to myself hits after sleeping in an extra hour after a full week of so much output– I can either be in euphoric creative mode, or despair/exhaustion. Of course, I enjoy the euphoria. I…
I keep the broken bits. They illustrate the subtext.
I keep the broken bits. I honour the cracks. They illustrate the subtext. There in I seek the true story. Subtext or undertone is any content of a creative work which is not announced explicitly by the characters or author, but is implicit or becomes something understood by the observer of the work as the…
Ut Pictura Poesis- the narrative potential of the drawing
I draw pictures. I imagine storylines. I imagine a narrative, a comic, a screenplay… There is nothing quite as on target as the prose I write in my mind when on the bus- whilst staring out the window to deal with motion sickness, taking in the landscape. But alas, those musings instantly disappear as soon…
Sunday pause. Sunday paws.
Sunday pause. ☕️📰📚 Sunday paws. 🐾 Couldn’t sleep well last night- overthinking- work, responsibilities. But this morning I pause, knowing I’ve worked dang hard to get here. To get to this moment. To get to a place where I can sit at a kitchen table alone on a Sunday morning with the New York Times and…
The sparrow is mightier than the machine
This morning, at the 23 bus stop in the West End, I heard the overwhelming LOUDNESS of humanity– cars, buses, construction, garbage container being dumped into a truck, a plane overhead, motorcycles. Cutting through all that noise was the song of one little sparrow. One little sparrow with a song so much mightier and awe-inspiring…
Give yourself the opportunity to discover your own imagery
Dreams of my art being attached to some kind of imaginary romantic self-sustaining monetary outcome no longer serve me. If my creative process is to continue to be my sacred practice, continue to develop, if my creative process is where I let go of attachment, let go of comparing myself to others, let go of…
“Retreat mode”
Heading into “retreat mode” for awhile. Creativity, family, bread and butter work, boundary reset. See you on the other side. Not known, because not looked for But heard, half heard, in the stillness Between two waves of the sea. Quick now, here, now, always— A condition of complete simplicity (Costing not less than everything)… -TS Eliot
I get this ways sometimes.
Ever get this way? Staring at your to do list, and not moving? Feels like a slow bleed, but the blood is flowing backwards causing a brain sting. I get this ways sometimes. Trying to figure out too many things and struggling with feeling useless and unproductive, even strangely irresponsible, yet knowing I deserve just…
Vision 2019: COURAGE
Recall My Big Vision and Mission for 2018: Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. – Carl Jung This vision board has stayed on my bathroom shelf all year as a daily check in. And as I reflect on a year…
Protected: Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 9- Torpet
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60 years ago my mother became a mother. (Karin Kristina Orwald 1936 – 2008)
Decades are significant. 60 years ago my mother became a mother. 50 years ago we moved to Canada from Sweden. 50 years ago, my mother started to write letters home to Sweden. 30 years ago, my mother’s second grandchild was born. 10 years ago, I had my ear to my mother’s chest and listened as…
Protected: Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 8- The Letter
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Protected: Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 7- Grad and the Party
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Admit it- you crave simplicity.
September 30, 2018 Dear Me, I am writing you this as I sense you need a reminder. I am writing to remind you that it is OK embrace what you are realizing right now: that the older you get, the more you will recoil from complexity. It appears that when you face complex chaos, the…
On this one year anniversary since Asterix passed, something poignant happened.
In the early morning of September 24, 2018, it will be one year since I lost my beloved parrot, Asterix. Recall: Losing him was deeply painful. I lost my companion. I lost our family history keeper. I lost my parents’ voices. Taking care of his little body, saying our goodbyes, wrapping him in a little…
Protected: A Potato Nose Diaries (1977) Short: Steven
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Come back to me.
Come back to me, Molly. It’s been a strange time- hiding you from the world in order to explore new ways of telling your story. I’m not sure I like this anymore. You chose me. Remember? At the library? 15 years ago. As your spirit wandered restlessly on the viaduct, you passed through me with…
Protected: A Potato Nose Diaries (1977) Short- The Audition
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Protected: A Potato Nose Diaries (1977) Short- I am 15 now.
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Protected: Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 5- They don’t know what it is.
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Mind mapping this month’s Power Path as personal therapy.
When I read something that really needs to sink in- I mind map it out. My whole brain is engaged and I can then look at the mind map throughout the month and be instantly reminded of the lessons. This morning was all about the Power Path- taking some quiet personal time for a coffee,…
Protected: Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 4- Sex Education
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Saudade waves.
Saudade describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves. It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return. It’s related to the feelings of longing, yearning. I have written about Saudade before. For example: November 3, 2012 SAUDADE: THE EMOTION OF MISSING. #GRIEF…