October 3, 2016: Being age 54 and “single” I am often asked (by people my own age), Are you dating anyone now? When my response is one of raised eyebrows and a cynical laugh, and an adamant, I have no interest, I often get the NEVER SAY NEVER statement. Oh my God. I know I know— who…
Category: Meditation
Stillness of the hummingbird.
I recall the wonder of seeing a little hummingbird, amidst my sunflower garden, staring in through my kitchen window (when I lived in Roberts Creek). Nothing has never felt so still. That breathless moment. A reminder today to sit in stillness, reflecting on that little creature. Just stop. For a moment. If the hummingbird shows up…
We are made of star-stuff…
To get myself realigned and prepared for diving into writing/drawing/reflection, I check in with my Church that is Frida Kahlo and let the stream of consciousness flow. Head to heart to hand. To prepare for output, there must be some quiet me time, input. Some meditation. And for me that is the private act of…
SOME PORTRAITS OF GRIEF.
For me, it is impossible to quantify grief. To qualify it. To define it. It comes as a surprise. It comes as a wave. It comes suddenly. Or it comes on slow. It can feel like nostalgia, anger, sadness, gratitude, drowning. It can be triggered. It can be low grade. It can be reassuring. It can…
It is important now for me to honor this call for retreat. #creativeprocess
I sense it is time to really retreat in between work schedules and ensure cave time to focus on my passion project: Molly, a true crime analysis. Seek solitude, writes Delacroix. I hear you. I am in a fantastic place regarding the project- she feels ripe, ready, eager. Through a tear in the fabric of time…
Journal exercise: self-care and self-compassion
Journal exercise: What does self-care and self-compassion mean to you? How are they different? How are they the same? — Inspired by conversations of late, I am intrigued by the differences between SELF-CARE and SELF-COMPASSION. — — In health care, self care is any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated. [source]…
The permanent analogy of things by images which participate in the life of truth.
“I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. I am, I am, I am.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar What am I trying to convey in my work? Is it of value? Does it matter? I remind myself that it doesn’t, that it CANNOT MATTER how I “fit…
Messages from Angels…
I love getting messages from Angels. I just sat down for a spot of tea… and pulled out some creativity books to prep for a session around mission and vision statements. I discovered a tiny envelope inside one of the books containing a gift from one of my mom’s best friend, Jopie. I don’t recall…
The timeless/spaceless mid zone of creative process and chatting with the dead…
There is a beautiful part of my creative process that I cherish- the part that allows me to dialogue with my parents as if they are here in my kitchen, sharing coffee and offering advice and dialoguing on the cold case. I had some magical moments the other day as I pulled out old binders…
Mamma.
Karin Thorsen September 17, 1936 – November 8, 2008 Because you are only a seed, chestnut tree, autumn, earth, water, heights, silence prepared the germ, the floury density, the maternal eyelids that buried will again open toward the heights the simple majesty of foliage, the dark damp plan of new roots, the ancient but…
In harmony with the currents of life… #jellyfish
I was contemplating the word acceptance this evening and decided to look up symbolism. I came across a charming reference to the jellyfish: Jellyfish’s medicine includes – sensitivity to water energy (emotions), understanding of the value of floating rather than swimming through trying emotional times, proper use of softness (not being rigid), ability to become untangled from…
Getting out of my own way.
I was down and dark in January- been down and dark before- but this time I was dipping down a little too low. I am blessed that I was able to communicate that to my nearest and dearest and have the difficult conversations and be met with love and support. I want to be here. To…
The heart of it.
Practicing being heart-fully present and health-fully detached. And checking in regularly with my own heart journey. Getting up a bit earlier. Gentle time before facing each day. Then practicing stepping into the day with OPEN boundless bountiful boundary-full HEART. And always reminding myself to nurture the heart of my passions and gifts. “I’m filled with burning passion to experience life…
Can we look at sad rants in our journals in a new way?
No doubt my collection of 300 + journals, sketchbooks and image-idea files are filled with more sad rants than with positive day-to-day activities. For many of us, our journals are a safe harbour in which to deposit racing thoughts- a place of privacy in which to address the darkness that we all struggle with from…
What makes me feel rich is…
A bowl of eggs in the fridge A bowl of fruit on the table A jar of random trinkets: Small details Watching approximately 40 herons playing in the wind outside my window. Herons represent an ability to progress and evolve. The long thin legs of the heron reflect that an individual doesn’t need great…
The 5 W’s. #Molly #GraphicNovel #Process
Working on Molly. Keep at it. Revise manuscript. Organize the collected research. Walk around the lagoon. Think think think. Massage the timeline. Spend hours in the coffee shop. Keep massaging that timeline. Rewrite introduction. Add it to the private presentation site. Work on treatment and elevator pitch. Review the theme of the month: committed choice. Spend hours,…
Ponderings on the “idea.”
As a creative, I find it as important to make time for input as well as make time for creative output. And allow myself some stupor time- doing nothing— doesn’t happen often. Tried today. To just stop for a bit, but instead I was distracted by my thoughts- thoughts that have been swirling in my head…
My personal #Chakra #SelfCare #CheckIn #Toolkit
I can’t help but love the magical thinking that happens when considering the chakras! The 7 Chakras are the energy centers in our body in which energy flows through. Blocked energy in our 7 Chakras can often lead to illness so it’s important to understand what each Chakra represents and what we can do to…
Opened TextEdit to find a surprise note to self…
Prepping for a session tonight with young women, around the theme of sisterhood using collage techniques, I opened TextEdit to collect pertinent quotes that may inspire dialogue tonight. An untitled document opened with a note I wrote to myself from my future self last year. Dear me, You now stand fully naked, fully present,…
Using Braid Theory to explain triple timeline. #Molly #graphicnovel
It has taken me years to create a structure for Molly that could combine two stories that run both parallel to each other and have intriguing connections. Massive research needs to be formatted in a cohesive way, yet allow for a compelling narrative. Currently, three timelines run through Molly and eventually braid together converging in…
Sunday morning coffee shop musings.
Journal entry January 24, 2016 Write out goals –> no, write out PLANS. What is the difference between goals and plans and by writing goals as opposed to plans, am I not being BADASS enough? (Thank you, Cat Webb, for defining me as a badass and being a constant source of empowerment. Check out Cat’s extraordinary…
Now her ghost wheels her barrow…
In Dublin’s fair city, where the girls are so pretty I first laid my eyes on sweet Molly Malone As she wheeled her wheelbarrow through the streets broad and narrow Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O! A-live a-live O! A-live a-live O! Crying cockles and mussels alive a-live O! She was a fishmonger and…
Soul work… my 2016 Toolkit
You may recall, I set my intention for 2016- to simply meet it all with love. Yet I knew it was important to take the time to do soul work. But it’s been hard, so very hard to get “started” on it. Yet- that’s not really correct… Actually, I have started. I have been collecting soul…
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain… Birds, metaphors, graphic novel, experiments
— Central to my graphic novel is the intensity of anxiety and severe depression while drowning in circumstance, highlighted through the metaphor of birds. — — Here are some experiments from the past weekend: I felt a Funeral, in my Brain, And Mourners to and fro… – Emily Dickinson
2015 reflections and 2016 intentions.
It’s that time of year to reflect and lay out intentions. What a journey 2015 was. It was the year… [DELETE.] I had written several lengthy paragraphs reflecting on 2015 and laying out a detailed list of intentions for 2016. I almost posted it last week. Then again yesterday. But this morning I delete it….
I thought my achy body was grief but perhaps it is birth.
Journal entry December 26, 2015 The surprise Christmas release by LCD Soundsystem epitomizes my achy-boned, sentimental, full of love and nostalgia, time to transition Christmas. I both celebrate and honor and am in awe that this was the first Christmas without both my kids in the same room or even the same town. I want to…
To live until we say good-bye. Tobey: Jan. 14, 2000-Dec. 23, 2015
December 23, 2015 3:52 PM As I write this, I await my brother to pick me up to take Tobey to the vet. I awoke yesterday with a painful heart, knowing it was time to help Tobey let go. 6:36 PM I said goodbye to my sweet Tobey at 5:45 PM. So much love and…
Magical thinking and Christmas knickknacks.
Christmas is here- magical time of year. One of my favorite and one of the hardest. So true for many of us. It’s a time of joy and connection, of reminders of loss and longing, of financial hardship and worry, a time of creating and sharing and giving… I love surrounding myself with old Christmas…
“Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…”
I revisited Brideshead Revisited last night and was struck, more deeply than usual, by Waugh’s opening line: “Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…” Why did this opening line stand out? I’ve been trying to find the right quote, the right words to help me reflect on my current dip into…
And so, the vulnerability shakes set in…
Hi. As you may know, I’ve been fully immersed in process in the last month or so- working on my book presentation for my agent to shop around, and I have LOVED the process, trying to cross all the t’s and dot all the i’s. Exciting to be at the next stage. Ready to share. So ready….