This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages. There is also a lot of pain. I try not to judge my younger self – even from last week, or yesterday or 5 minutes ago. Who I was then, who I am now- inseparable. I continue to be sculpted.
Today: Journal Start Date November 6, 1989
November 7 1989
Cannot get enthusiasm up for this art school project [3-D Form and Materials, Emily Carr]! Biting my nails at the sinful thoughts of quitting and just pursuing exhibiting. But I know that would be truly giving up. Why am I taking it so seriously when there are a lot more serious issues on hand? Like cruel animal research practices at UBC, the environment, homelessness, war…
First ever election in Namibia…
East Germans fleeing the country. Cabinet resigns…
Soviets protesting openly on this National Day…
November 10, 1989
Make something new in this time when nothing is new – from a time where everything was new.
November 15, 1989
“Dear Katarina Thorsen,
We are sorry to hear you are withdrawing from the course 3-D Form and Materials…”
November 16, 1989
We dyed/died our hair last night. Big Mistake. J____ woke up horribly depressed because of it.
The kids played quietly in their room all morning. Now Anna is painting more and more Xmas trees. So cozy. Julian is napping and I’ve cleaned the apartment, cooking potatoes and thinking about Xmas projects. Quiet grey day and no school tonight! Brought all the pieces in for photos and frames – 24 pieces for the show!
November 17, 1989
How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies don’t have the motor skills or depth perception to change light bulbs.
November 18, 1989
4th color treatment! J_____: Ash Blonde. Me: Burgundy.
November 23, 1989
$100 from N.G. for my art! Groceries, laundry money, 16 roses to dry for Xmas presents.
November 28 1989
A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do. Makes me sick to write that.
December 6, 1989
Fourteen women murdered in Montreal. “The killer must have known that it was the final hour of the last day of classes, and that it was a fourth year class where the female victims were about to enter the working world.” [Vancouver Sun]
December 7, 1989
Anna gets her first phone call from her best friend Stephanie. She’s coming after pre-school to play. Our little girlie-baby is growing up.
December 8, 1989
K______ visited today. It gave me a headache.
December 12, 1989
Gallery 56 directors visited. I was a blubbering idiot beforehand. Why was I so nervous? But it was great! 20 pieces chosen. The other 20 to Port Moody. I served omelettes, cappuccino, toast, cookies. They were truly appreciative. Julian slept the whole time. Anna was a “lady.”
It’s all so exciting!
December 13, 1989
Naive awe to self-critical disgust.
My portraits are positive images/ messages of humans converging.
“Mother’s milk is good for you.” [Red Hot Child Peppers] Collective sexual sigh seemed to rise from the audience.
December 19, 1989
Passed a note to tenant underneath us: “I don’t appreciate our children (mine and yours) hearing the foul language you use when yelling at your husband.”
December 28, 1989
Should I draw landscape? Politics? Goodness? Messages? Fuck it. Draw sexy women.
“Clearly, there can be no hope for mankind’s future without a radical change of living habits everywhere. Moving along our nation or any nation, cannot save the planet or itself. Rescue must come from joint action worldwide.” – Bruce Hutchison
[A quote I wrote in my journal November 24, 1989. Today as the entire world struggles due to the Covid-19 pandemic, and as we experience radical change in our daily lives, the quote feels very timely.]