Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 15: Jan 31, 1997

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5 June 13,…

There is one moment in Pippi Longstocking that nailed it for me…

As a child, I desperately searched for characters in books that aligned with my anxious outward ways and my happy reclusive interior.  Charlie Brown came close, but he was always seeking connection.  I was seeking alone time.  Like Charlie, school terrified and exhausted me.  Home, my room, my books were my calming tools.  I found…

I get this ways sometimes.

Ever get this way? Staring at your to do list, and not moving? Feels like a slow bleed, but the blood is flowing backwards causing a brain sting. I get this ways sometimes. Trying to figure out too many things and struggling with feeling useless and unproductive, even strangely irresponsible, yet knowing I deserve just…

Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 7- Grad and the Party

Previously on PND: Instalment 1: Introduction Instalment 2: The First Entries Instalment 3: Do Tendu Jetés en Balance Instalment 4: Sex Education Instalment 5: They Don’t Know What It Is Potato Nose Diaries (1977) Short: I am 15 now Potato Nose Diaries (1977) Short: The Audition Instalment 6: The Trip to Paris Potato Nose Diaries (1977)…

Potato Nose Diaries (1977): Instalment 4- Sex Education

Previously on PND: Instalment 1: Introduction Instalment 2: The First Entries Instalment 3: Do Tendu Jetés en Balance Today’s instalment: © Katarina Thorsen 2018

Saudade waves.

Saudade describes a deep emotional state of nostalgic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves.  It often carries a repressed knowledge that the object of longing will never return.  It’s related to the feelings of longing, yearning.   I have written about Saudade before.  For example: November 3, 2012 SAUDADE: THE EMOTION OF MISSING. #GRIEF…

Potato Nose Diaries (1977)- Instalment 3: Do Tendu Jetés en Balance

Previously on PND: Instalment 1: Introduction Instalment 2: The First Entries Today’s instalment: © Katarina Thorsen 2018 — Potato Nose Gallery:

Potato Nose Diaries (1977)- Instalment 2: The First Entries

Previously on PND: Instalment 1: Introduction Today’s instalment: — © Katarina Thorsen 2018

“You’re a piece of shit.” #drawoutanxiety

Check out:

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain… Birds, metaphors, graphic novel, experiments

— Central to my graphic novel is the intensity of anxiety and severe depression while drowning in circumstance, highlighted through the metaphor of birds. — — Here are some experiments from the past weekend:      I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,  And Mourners to and fro… – Emily Dickinson

“Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…”

I revisited Brideshead Revisited last night and was struck, more deeply than usual, by Waugh’s opening line: “Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…” Why did this opening line stand out?  I’ve been trying to find the right quote, the right words to help me reflect on my current dip into…

Reminder: the purpose of the design is to unsettle the bee…

I am about to embark on a very personal journey revisiting a time in my past I need to process in depths in order to fully move forward into the next chapter in my life.  I’ll share more about that later.  Until then, I will revisit an old post on the bee and its relationship…

I want to take your secrets public. I want to burn down the distance between us. #Journalexercise.

I have found that by being honest with my audience, I can be honest with myself and also forgive myself for imperfections- or more accurately, celebrate my imperfections.  By acknowledging secrets I can ask for help. I want to take your secrets public.  I want to burn down the distance between us.  I want to give…

Fear and resistance on a Monday morning. #Journal

The more scared we are of a work or a calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. ~ The War of Art by Steven Pressfield I am answering a call.  More on that soon. Yet still I struggle with the same old anxieties around money.  I am taking steps, mind…

Journal entry: In DEBT yes, but inDEBTed to art as well.

I have been experiencing chronic anxiety [or more than usual] of late.  I am better able to sit with it [not perfect by any means, for at times I am debilitated by it] and to ride through just the physical symptoms. Many changes are happening in my life- there are new developments in my art…

Alarm! “Failure.” Snooze. Repeat. #journal

Those first thing in the morning internal conversations can be brutal. From: How to Stop Morning Anxiety Few things are worse then than waking up stressed and facing anxiety which is a highly unpleasant but rather common occurrence.  The reason that anxiety is worse in the morning for many people is because this is when…

Facing the wall of fear… #journal exercise. #arttherapy

Waking up with the cannonball weight of anxiety and fear in your chest?  Racing thoughts about all the usual?  Worried that you won’t be able to deliver all you have promised?  That you don’t have enough resources?  Financially, physically, spiritually?  Forgetting to live in the moment and over-thinking the future?  Scattered and feeling disorganized?  You…

Anxiety from anticipating/processing loss requires pulling out the tool kit. #journaling

I’m working on a book with Dad and it’s a beautiful process.  It’s about maintaining connections through art and with art. But as Dad goes through his past, and I take dictation and notes… … I am filled with nostalgia for a life passed, I am filled with the heaviness of missing my mom. I…

Dih-presh-uhn. #arttherapy #tools #honesty

Confess: The first light of the mornings are often hellish for many of us. Once the sounds of the day and the resonance of hope quiets the pain, we can meet the day with renewed enthusiasm [hopefully but unfortunately for some, the days and the nights are too painful]. Toolkit. Toolkit. Recall my post on…

When anxiety hits- pick up a pencil… draw what you like #arttherapy

Oh my- anxious evening… my head swims with to-dos and self-criticism.  So before I do anything more, I will pause and simply draw.  Draw what I love, and for those of you that know me, you know that means: SOCK MONKEYS.  My daughter, Anna, gave me this delightful book for Christmas: SOCK MONKEY (Publisher teNeues)…

#TheSketchbookProject page 10: Final day of #SanFrancisco trip part 2

THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 10 Transcript Monday October 11, 2010 18:03 Sitting at Gate 68 @SFO.  Anna left me at the security lineup.  We had an amazing time.  I need to believe that these anxiety moments are worth it. Trust, trust, trust. Does this need to cry imply…

The Sketchbook Project page 8, and mysterious photos from #MysteryMister

THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 8 Transcript Sunday October 10, 2010 21:22 PJ’s and Arrested Development. Already missing Anna even tho we still have tomorrow and she is coming to Vancouver for Halloween.  I need to look into anxiety tools.  Redo pages with watercolor a la Lynda Barry.  Woke…