Dad is working. I can tell. Deep internal work. Letting go of his physical body. I haven’t seen his eyes today. They remain closed as he concentrates. His color good. He’s a strong motherfucker. We, the family, continue to putter around. Simply being a loving presence near the person, holding their hand, sending loving…
Tag: grief
We’ve become a band of gypsies. #livinguntilwesaygoodbye
VIGIL: a purposeful watch maintained, esp at night, to guard, observe, pray, etc. Recall: Document it. All of it. We remain at Dad’s bedside. Today was a peaceful day for him. His medication was increased so he is not in as much pain as yesterday. Only when he is moved. Other than that, he sleeps soundly…
… the proper sorrows of the soul. #grief #journal
There is a sanity to grief… given to all, [grief] is a generative and human thing…it acts to preserve the self. – Kay Jamison Absolutely drenched. Wrenched. And drenched. I spent the full day with Dad today after his morning procedure when I “could” have been home finishing our manuscript and “should” have been trying…
JOURNAL: process out the stickiness
Working on the book, I find myself falling into expected dips of low energy. Stickiness. I ride the waves of excitement and melancholy. I remind myself that it’s ok to take a break and to journal out those moments that feel heavy. You don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in…
Books as life rafts.
For fun, I just did the Holmes and Rahe Stress Test and my result was: You have a high or very high risk of becoming ill in the near future. Duh. Doh. Funsies. How do I deal with stress? Acknowledge it. Use books. I was just digging through my book pile and I realize there are certain…
Desperately seeking Karin… #journal #grief #arttherapy
As I work on the book with Dad, I am drenched in memories and find myself obsessively looking at photos of my mother. She’s around 20 in the photos and just starting her adult life. I am loving it, but it’s also overwhelming. Knowing the path that lies ahead of her… Last night I walked…
Anxiety from anticipating/processing loss requires pulling out the tool kit. #journaling
I’m working on a book with Dad and it’s a beautiful process. It’s about maintaining connections through art and with art. But as Dad goes through his past, and I take dictation and notes… … I am filled with nostalgia for a life passed, I am filled with the heaviness of missing my mom. I…
Mnemosyne : Greek Goddess of Memory and Mother of the Muses. Love letter to my mom.
A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan
Weekly artist series: Week 9 Part 2 SUE COE: A mother dying
Week 9 Part 2 Sue Coe The Last 11 Days is a group of charcoal drawings Sue Coe created from July 20 to 31, 1995 depicting her mother as she lay dying with cancer. The drawings reveal Coe’s private struggle with her mother’s illness and eventual death. [source] I’m not a big fan of the word “resonate.”…
Weekly artist series: Week 5 Part 4 of 4 STORYTELLING #FaithRinggold #arttherapy “She flew straight to San Francisco”
Week 5 Part 4 FAITH RINGGOLD As we have explored Faith’s art, we see it is one of STORYTELLING. Take a moment from your life. Using a full page in your journal and simply an HB pencil, tell the story. See also: 35 PART daily journal exercise Weekly artist exploration/journaling series INTRO Weekly artist exploration/journaling…
Part 32 of 35 daily journal workshop. GRIEF. #arttherapy
LOSS. What does that mean to you? Are you scared of it? Is the fear of losing someone or something preventing you from living now? Have you experienced such profound loss that grief overwhelms you, and indeed, now shapes you? Write it out. Or draw it out. There are no easy answers. There is just…
Woman-Artist-Pain-Power. The #FridaKahlo series.
Frida Kahlo is an icon and muse that I return to again and again. I am infused by Frida and I consider myself a Kahloist. She epitomizes the artist and woman in pain. As I was going through my divorce, I was driven to draw Frida as a child. The medium I chose (or it…
#Disintegration- #TheSketchbookProject pages 15-20
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None My journal pages feel ugly and messy and dismantled. But as the disintegration and Kafkaesque fragmentation occurs, both in life and on paper, the truth is revealed and it would be dishonest to pretty them up. Pages 15-20 November 25- December 10, 2010 To see pages…
Sometimes you have to stay home and cry. #Grief and #TheSketchbookProject pages 13/14
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Incoherent stream of consciousness ramblings… Page 13 Transcript November 19/20, 2010 The end is not the end. It is a transition. 15:37 Fort Langley My regular pilgrimage to Fort Langley to connect with mom and rituals we loved doing together. Coming out by myself is…
#TheSketchbookProject page 10: Final day of #SanFrancisco trip part 2
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 10 Transcript Monday October 11, 2010 18:03 Sitting at Gate 68 @SFO. Anna left me at the security lineup. We had an amazing time. I need to believe that these anxiety moments are worth it. Trust, trust, trust. Does this need to cry imply…
The Sketchbook Project page 7
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 7 Transcript Sunday October 10, 2010 9:17 Golden Gate Early Risers. Early Breakfast. Early Start. It’s bizarre for me just to relax into it. Instead of racing the mind to guilt and self-critique, breathe into the moment, not letting the default setting on anxiety…
The Sketchbook Project page 4
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 4 Transcript Friday October 8, 2010 Westfield San Francisco Centre At Borders under the dome 16:54 Look up Hans Fallada “The Drinker” and “Everyman Dies Alone” 17:04 Anna is almost done. Time for Whole Foods and an opening tonight. There is a lady sleeping…
The Sketchbook Project page 3
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 3 Transcript Friday October 8, 2010 Westfield San Francisco Centre At Nordstrom Espresso Bar 2010 October 2010 15:52 San Francisco What do I think of when I think of “and then there was none”? When I first chose the theme I thought about Mom’s…
The Sketchbook Project page 2
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 2 Transcript Friday October 8, 2010 Westfield San Francisco Centre Karin • Kristina • Mamma It’s almost been 2 years since mom passed away. I have never really written about those last moments. For they were not “last.” But all of a sudden– Mom’s…
The Sketchbook Project page 1
THE SKETCHBOOK PROJECT 2011 TOUR Theme: And Then There Was None Page 1 Transcript 8:16 AM Friday October 8, 2010 Gate 83 @YVR I promised myself I would start this journal at the aiport on my way to visit Anna. It will be a place to process grief. A place to address loss and allow myself to…