On the gross creative process, the ugliness, the inner critic, the log jams, the writing…
Log jam. Log jam. After feedback FEEDBACK from multiple sources that I should be in the story and I try and try but log jam log jam— Why does the creative process halt when I do that? I place myself back in the narrative and use first person but get triggered and the inner critic wakes up. AWAKES. And I feel gross and numb.
I transcribe a video from 2004- 12 years ago now-
and I am reviewing my research to that point sharing WHAT and HOW I found out what I did- and hey, it’s fascinating as to HOW—
— but I am gross. Inarticulate. BORING.
Molly– if you are leading the way- HELP ME TRUST AGAIN. Why can’t I trust that? I can take the time I need? But there is no more time.
I put myself back in the narrative… I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings. You really do write like you’re running out of— time. – Eliza, Hamilton the Musical (Lin Manuel Miranda)