I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart.
Part 4: Dying from the Common Cold
1. Draw the pain:
Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.
– German Proverb
I recall an exercise I made up in August 2012 as I journaled:
“Waking up with the cannonball weight of anxiety and fear in your chest? Racing thoughts about all the usual? Worried that you won’t be able to deliver all you have promised? That you don’t have enough resources? Financially, physically, spiritually? Forgetting to live in the moment and over-thinking the future? Scattered and feeling disorganized? You know… All that typical familiar stuff that builds a wall of fear around you. Well, that’s me this AM. So I tried this. I drew an outline.”
Drew in where the fear sits the strongest.
Then gently erased.
Easy. Breathed through. Decreased the tension. Softened.
2. Capture chapter highlights:
Watch the shadows gather in the aching body. Hear them mutter in complaint and self-pity.
Pity arises from meeting pain with fear. Compassion comes when you meet it with love…
When we begin to respond to discomfort instead of reacting to it, an enormous change occurs. We begin to experience it not as just “our” pain but as “the” pain… When it’s “my” unworthiness I feel unworthy to explore it. But when it’s “the” unworthiness– the pain so many struggle with– compassion flows naturally towards it…
When it’s “the” pain, it has the whole universe to float in, when it’s “my” pain, I’m standing alone in it.
3. Explore another source regarding listening to the messages from the heart:
By learning about anxiety, spending time with it and finally holding in your hand, you can enjoy the next step: You can relax your grip, and let it fall away. It will have served its purpose. You will have loved that part of yourself and it won’t need to get your attention with such a difficult message again.
You will be connected. That’s the first gift.
The second gift is that feeling connected and with realizing that you’re enough can lead you to a cycle of inner fullness. It can give you an easy-to-remember awareness that you’re up for this, whatever the next exciting challenge or painful event may be.
The third gift of anxiety is that it gets you to recognize your own power with, instead of power over, yourself and your life.
All you had to do was listen… – Ariella Baston
4. Today’s angel card: