Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 41: April 21, 2014

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. See previous samples: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14, 2002 Sample 5…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 21: February 15, 2002

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection. Today’s sample journal starts about a month and a half after J_____ and I decided we were going to divorce. He is living in Vancouver and I am on the Sunshine Coast with the kids.  See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 16: Jan 5, 2012

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. It is important to note that I had extraordinary relationships with my parents. We had many adventures and they were integral in making me who I am, helping me raise my…

Unnecessary Violence and Ramblings- archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 12: October 23, 2001

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages. There is also a lot of pain. The process is getting to me. I feel strange, dumb, self-obsessed as I…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 8: Oct 23, 1995

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages, as well, and certainly in the daily life “behind the scenes.” The blood and guts of family life. See: Unnecessary…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 7: Dec 17, 1995

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. There is much joy in the pages, as well, and certainly in the daily life “behind the scenes.” The blood and guts of family life. See:…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 6: August 23, 2019

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Sample 4 August 14,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 5: June 13, 1990

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. It is as difficult as I anticipated. But I am laying aside self-judgment. It is also more joyous than I expected as I revisit being a…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 4: August 14, 2002

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Sample 3 May 16, 2000 Today: Journal Start Date August 14,…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 3: May 16, 2000

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Sample 2 Date Dec 15 1994 Today: Journal Start Date May 16, 2000 Cover Sample Page Sample…

Unnecessary Violence- random archiving of my Shadow Work Journals 1986 to present. Sample 2: Dec 15, 1994

This daily archiving series is about organizing and dating my journal collection, as well as acknowledging the self-directed violence as important therapeutic shadow work. Processing my projections and darkness. See first post: Unnecessary Violence Project Explanation and Sample 1 Oct 21, 1992 Today: Journal Start Date Dec 15 1994 Cover Sample Page Sample Drawing Sample Writing Pages…

Covidian Dream Play

I had MANY strange dreams last night but one really strange one had me entering a suburban house in the midwest and walking upstairs and seeing my mom desperately vacuuming rugs and wall to wall carpeting. She lived there alone. She had all new decor- very Americana- none of our old stuff. Nothing recognizable at…

I don’t bleed anymore. Finding solace in journal pages.

“These are the days of tweeting, blogging, posting, instagraming, snapchatting, you name it. Everyone seems to be doing it. Some people seem very comfortable expressing every morsel of their living and breathing and eating into the world. Not that this isn’t totally fascinating to the one sharing, but most people (including me) don’t care about…

So what is the relationship with the blog? It begs to show more of your life in it…

Journal entry July 20, 2019  Sometimes I feel overwhelming sadness that has a type of mystery and release.  Perhaps it’s [binging] Queer Eye S4 that hits me in my most vulnerable low self-esteem spots, maybe it’s seeing Squeak lose weight and anticipating losing her… … maybe it’s the awe of knowing I am… have overcome…

Stream of consciousness #writing and #drawing as #anxietytool

I am diving into a therapeutic and academic exploration into anxiety disorder to wrangle and understand the beast and to build a creative curriculum of tools.  Besides lots of reading, my daily routine includes stream of consciousness writing and drawing, with no attachment to outcome.   I believe with all my heart that just understanding…

The importance of doodling…

Spontaneous drawings may relieve psychological distress, making it easier to attend to things. We like to make sense of our lives by making up coherent stories, but sometimes there are gaps that cannot be filled, no matter how hard we try. Doodles fill these gaps, possibly by activating the brain’s “time travel machine,” allowing it to find lost puzzle…

Die into life.

I haven’t posted for awhile.  That’s not to say I haven’t been writing, drawing, planning, thinking, working. A new job started January 15 and somehow 5 months have sped by.  Work has given me a place to land.  During that time there have been some exciting new developments… Ah, blah blah blah.  Fuck that.  I…

Chakra monkey… “I am safe…”

Chakra sock monkey I am safe I am creative I am strong I am loved I am expressive I am connected I am divine

Practicing neutrality.

I know anxiety. I know depression. And now it seems these days like I am practicing neutrality. Allowing things to be.  Just be.  Letting fear crumble through my fingers.  Sighing it out.  Letting the little bird free. … keep some middle ground of neutrality amidst the chaos to stay out of other people’s drama.– Lena Stevens…

What if today, I just NOT worry?

Today I am giving myself the permission to be just in the moment.   When fear and worry arise, I will try to let it dissipate without trying to figure out solutions.  I give myself permission to just do what I have committed to today.  TODAY. I give myself permission to not worry about what…

From the heart- a 15 day journal exercise Part 11: Fear of Dying

I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching Up with Your Life Part 2: Practice Dying Part 3: Preparing to Die Part 4: Dying from the Common…

From the Heart- a 15 day journal exercise: Part 10 Fear of Dying

I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching Up with Your Life Part 2: Practice Dying Part 3: Preparing to Die Part 4: Dying from the Common…

From the heart- a 15 day journal exercise Part 7: Fear of Fear

It’s been a while.  It’s been a lot lately.  But let’s see how this chapter unfolds.  What it reveals. I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching…

From the heart- a 15-day journal exercise Part 4

I am re-reading Stephen Levine‘s A Year to Live- how to live this year as if it were your last as a personal exercise schedule to take time to slow down and truly listen to my heart. Recall: Part 1: Catching Up with Your Life Part 2: Practice Dying Part 3: Preparing to Die Part 4: Dying from the Common…

“You’re a piece of shit.” #drawoutanxiety

Check out:

Anticipation: revisiting a journal exercise

Standing on the edge of the unknown, we anticipate.  We over-think.  And create anxiety that has no place to land. There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. – Alfred Hitchcock I created this journal exercise about 5 years ago to meditate on: releasing the anxiety around the unknown when…

‘Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.’ Journaling exercise

Today you are a newborn and you are starting fresh! Draw a baby. Draw brainstorm bubbles above “your “head. Write about what it may be like to start fresh.  Releasing anxiety and hesitancy. Brainstorm central themes in your life.  Just let it happen. Be willing to be a beginner every single morning. – Meister Eckhart…

SOME PORTRAITS OF GRIEF.

For me, it is impossible to quantify grief.  To qualify it.  To define it.  It comes as a surprise. It comes as a wave.  It comes suddenly.  Or it comes on slow.  It can feel like nostalgia, anger, sadness, gratitude, drowning.  It can be triggered.  It can be low grade.  It can be reassuring.  It can…

Getting out of my own way.

I was down and dark in January- been down and dark before- but this time I was dipping down a little too low.  I am blessed that I was able to communicate that to my nearest and dearest and have the difficult conversations and be met with love and support. I want to be here.  To…

CREATIVE MIND MAPPING

Mind maps integrate both right-brain and left-brain thinking by capturing your stream of consciousness in a structured way. – Jennifer Lee CREATIVE MIND MAPPING  Mind maps are essentially visual diagrams.  They can act as a type of journal or personal exploration, or a tool for strategic inquiry or project planning.  The possibilities are vast and endless….

The healing power of journaling and “making sense.”

To me, the journal is an essential vomitorium, a depository, a giant worry doll that contains it, holds it- allows for LETTING GO.  It allows me to make sense.  I find that journaling is different from keeping a diary. The difference between diary keeping and journaling (to me): A diary is a record of events, happenings,…

Soul work… my 2016 Toolkit

You may recall, I set my intention for 2016- to simply meet it all with love.  Yet I knew it was important to take the time to do soul work.  But it’s been hard, so very hard to get “started” on it. Yet- that’s not really correct…  Actually, I have started. I have been collecting soul…

“Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…”

I revisited Brideshead Revisited last night and was struck, more deeply than usual, by Waugh’s opening line: “Here, at the age of 39, I began to be old…” Why did this opening line stand out?  I’ve been trying to find the right quote, the right words to help me reflect on my current dip into…

Art journaling e-workshop 12-part course

I have created an in-depths arts journaling program and am offering it to you as an email course! I have been developing a little project for awhile now, inspired by my desires to combine my learned lessons from years of facilitating art sessions.  You will receive instructions and imagery to print out and color.  Fun, easy, in-depths!   The…

Mindmap Tutorial Week Part 7 of 7: Reviewing

I have been diving into a much-needed new mindmap this week, so I thought I’d create a tutorial during my process! Tutorial so far: Introductory blog post- mindmap tutorial week Part 1: What is a mindmap? Part 2: the Big Vision Part 3: Stream of consciousness mapping Part 4: Prioritizing/consolidating/connecting Part 5: Enhancing Part 6: Addressing…

Mindmap Tutorial Week Part 4: Prioritizing, consolidating, connecting

I am diving into a much-needed new mindmap this week, so I thought I’d create a tutorial during my process! Tutorial so far: Introductory blog post- mindmap tutorial week Part 1: What is a mindmap? Part 2: the Big Vision Part 3: Stream of consciousness mapping TODAY: PART 4 OF 7: Prioritizing/consolidating/connecting So once you have…

Mindmap Tutorial Week Part 3: Stream of consciousness mapping

I am diving into a much-needed new mindmap this week, so I thought I’d create a tutorial during my process! Tutorial so far: Introductory blog post- mindmap tutorial week Part 1: What is a mindmap? Part 2: the Big Vision TODAY: PART 3 OF 7: Stream of consciousness mapping In your journal start writing out…

Mindmap Tutorial Week Part 1 of 7: What is a mindmap?

I am diving into a much-needed new mindmap this week, so I thought I’d create a tutorial during my process! Recall: Introductory blog post- mindmap tutorial week Today: Part 1 of 7: What is a mindmap? Mindmaps (or mind maps– but I prefer the one word version) are essentially visual diagrams. Wikipedia definition: A mind…

Mindmap tutorial week on the blog!

Getting ready to dive into a much-needed new mindmap this week, so I thought I’d create a tutorial during my process! What to expect: Part 1: What is a mindmap? Part 2: The big vision Part 3: Stream of consciousness mapping Part 4: Prioritizing/consolidating/connecting Part 5: Enhancing Part 6: Addressing Part 7: Reviewing What you…

Touch me life, not softly. #journalentry

How will you take on this week? Last week was truly full of too muchness, too fullness, too many extremes, but at the same time, I was grateful for the intensity. It helped me clarify what was truly important. There was output and connection, there was trauma and fear, there was despair and elation, and…

INNER CRITIC Series Part 4 of 6: CAUTERIZE #journalexercise

The inner critic is always worth a revisit.  I have broken the series into 6 parts: 1. RANT 2. JUDGE 3. INVESTIGATE 4. CAUTERIZE 5. TEASE 6. EMBRACE Each exercise starts with a journal entry and/or mindmap.  Then we look at the emotions that come up as we share openly.  I encourage you to experiment by…

INNER CRITIC series Part 3 of 6: INVESTIGATE #journalexercise

The inner critic is always worth a revisit.  I have broken the series into 6 parts: 1. RANT 2. JUDGE 3. INVESTIGATE 4. CAUTERIZE 5. TEASE 6. EMBRACE Each exercise starts with a journal entry and/or mindmap.  Then we look at the emotions that come up as we share openly.  I encourage you to experiment by…

Inner Critic Series Part 2: JUDGE #journalexercise #mindmap

INNER CRITIC SERIES PARTS 1-6: The inner critic is always worth a revisit.  I have broken the series into 6 parts: 1. RANT 2. JUDGE 3. INVESTIGATE 4. CAUTERIZE 5. TEASE 6. EMBRACE Each exercise starts with ajournal entry and/or mindmap.  Then we look at the emotions that come up as we share openly.  I encourage…

Sacred Contracts Journal Exercise Part 6 of 8: PULL BACK TO THE PAST

SACRED CONTRACTS JOURNALING EXERCISE SERIES PART 6 OF 8 PULL BACK TO THE PAST We are tapping into our calling, our purpose, our joy in this SACRED CONTRACTS journal series.  It is inspired by Caroline Myss.  The journal series is  an experiment on my part, and I welcome you to join along. Recall Part 1: Future and Present where…

Sacred Contracts Journaling Exercise Part 4b OF 8: SACRED BODY

  SACRED CONTRACTS JOURNALING EXERCISE SERIES PART 4b OF 8 SACRED BODY We are tapping into our calling, our purpose, our joy in this SACRED CONTRACTS journal series.  It is inspired by Caroline Myss.  The journal series is  an experiment on my part, and I welcome you to join along. Recall Part 1: Future and Present where we took…

Sacred Contracts Journaling Exercise Part 4a of 8: what is your true nature?

SACRED CONTRACTS JOURNALING EXERCISE SERIES PART 4a OF 8 WHAT IS YOUR TRUE NATURE? We are tapping into our calling, our purpose, our joy in this SACRED CONTRACTS journal series.  It is inspired by Caroline Myss.  The journal series is  an experiment on my part, and I welcome you to join along. Recall Part 1: Future and Present where we…

Sacred Contracts Journaling Exercise Part 3 of 8: what masks do we wear?

SACRED CONTRACTS JOURNALING EXERCISE SERIES PART 3 OF 8 WHAT MASKS DO WE WEAR? We are tapping into our calling, our purpose, our joy in this SACRED CONTRACTS journal series.  It is inspired by Caroline Myss.  The journal series is  an experiment on my part, and I welcome you to join along. Recall Part 1: Future and Present where…

Sacred Contracts Journaling Exercise Part 2 of 8: where are your energy leaks?

  SACRED CONTRACTS JOURNALING EXERCISE SERIES PART 2 OF 8 WHERE ARE YOU ENERGY LEAKS? We are tapping into our calling, our purpose, our joy in this SACRED CONTRACTS journal series.  It is inspired by Caroline Myss.  The journal series is  an experiment on my part, and I welcome you to join along.  Recall Part…

Mindmapping, visualization and archetype contemplation. Working on new journaling series.

Not sure where I am taking this new journal series that is gestating. Letting it unfold until it “arrives.”

“Seeing your life in broad strokes and in bright pieces allows you to redraw…” @carolinemyss

In detecting the emotional charge in your biography, you can begin to see how the fragments of your history have worked together in ways that have affected your past, your present, and the state of your health. This perspective is what I call symbolic sight. Seeing your life in broad strokes and in bright pieces…

But the one thing that eases anxiety- always, no matter how tired I am…

There have been so many changes in my life.  Good ones overall, that’s for sure.  But I find myself paralyzed in the mornings these days by anxiety. Some days are better than others.  It all makes sense with all the stuff going on, all the changes, the bankruptcy, the move, the losses, the gains, the…

I am SUMthing, not NOthing… morning journaling exercise #anxiety #racingthoughts

I am the SUM of all my parts. SUM evolved, SUM didn’t. I am SUMthing, not NOthing. Though I feel incapable of understanding $ and what it means and how to live freely by bringing enough in, I have at the very least come to a simpler point from which to at the very least…

China marker therapy

A china marker. Newsprint. The act of drawing. That is when my mind is at rest. That is where I channel my racing mind. Drop the baggage, for good. Leave no imprint, not even a trace… – Rebelle Society

Is debt an emotion? Changing attitudes.

There are so many shifts and transformations that color this past year for me.  I am learning.  Taking big steps and baby steps. The biggest change is allowing anxiety around finances to just be, sitting with it, reaching out for help, enriching my support network, listening, facing, communicating, trying, failing, trying again, moving forward. I…

Removing the fear- a deconstruction.

Deconstructing a blockage tonight by analyzing its essential parts:

Biography becomes biology. Ugly mole diaries.

Your biography becomes your biology. – Caroline Myss Last year I had an ugly fucking mole growing above my left temple (aftereffects of radiation treatments in 1983).  The family kept commenting on it and raising concerns.  I have a lot of moles.  I am a moly person.  But this one was too visible.  I would…

I am finding chaos a trigger to inner peace. #journalexercise

At times, life can feel chaotic.  Both within and without and especially in moments on transition, when to-do lists double up and there are never enough hours in the day.  When you sense stress in colleagues as they anticipate change.  Your nerves are highly sensitive to triggers and the panic demon sits in the very…

Journal exercise: facing our barriers [writing and drawing]

  Before our drawing exercise today with my youth group, I asked them to write stream of consciousness around barriers– barriers that come up in life, that make us “stuck” etc.  TEN MINUTES.  10 minutes of writing can be very liberating as it gives us a private place in which to problem solve and release….

Untangling Past/Present/Future Journal Exercise

We may find ourselves stuck in a cycle, weighed down by our past, distracted by our perceived future and not living fully in the present. If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present….

“Drawing on Pain” at Espana Gallery closing early due to protests from tenants.

UPDATE! It as an interesting experiment to have “Drawing on Pain” exhibited in a lobby gallery. Experiment has to end early as some tenants are expressing concern over the subject matter and have asked that the show be taken down. Understood. Thank you, The Espana Gallery, for the opportunity while it lasted! The show will end…